Dear Dottie: Why Aren’t Working Women In Your New Homemaking Book?

Tuesday, May 7, 2013 by Dorothy Kelley Patterson

Dear Dottie: Why Aren’t Working Women In Your New Homemaking Book?

Dear Dottie,

I was looking through The Christian Homemaker’s Handbook in the bookstore yesterday. It looks like a wonderful resource, but I noticed something missing. No where in the book (and I just checked the Table of Contents on Amazon to be sure) is there a chapter for women who work outside the home. These women may be single, they may be married, they may be mothers.  I know Southwestern Seminary employs many of them.  Yet, this book has no advice, wisdom, or encouragement for those who are having to balance their homemaking with outside jobs and/or school. I understand and agree with the Biblical stance on women being homeward oriented, I can do the Greek word studies of oikourgous (homemakers).  Yet, my weary heart, as a homemaker, almost full-time employee, part-time pastor’s wife, full time student, and 24/7 wife, asks – why did you leave me out of the book?

I am physically not at home enough to make the home I would wish for my husband.  My heart longs to be more of, and a better homemaker, yet for now I have to choose contentment and satisfaction with the multiple roles God has given me, homemaker being just one. I know many women employed outside the home struggle with keeping up both responsibilities, since generally, in most homes, even if the wife works outside the home she’s still responsible for upwards of 70% of the cleaning/cooking, etc in the home as well as her part or full time job. What hope can you give for the heart of women who want to make a home, but either don’t have a family, or financially cannot be in their home like they want/need in order to accomplish that task?

Sincerely,

Exhausted & Hand-tied

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Planning a Romantic Picnic for Two

Tuesday, April 30, 2013 by Melissa Meredith

Planning a Romantic Picnic for Two

Need a fresh date night idea that is both simple and romantic?  Look no further!  The following is a guide to planning a perfectly romantic picnic for two.

 

The Perfect Location

Choose a special spot that can become your special place, just for the two of you.  To help pick the perfect location, think about your personality as a couple.  Do you prefer quiet solitude or being surrounded by people?  Also, think about what your city has to offer. Does your city have a botanical garden? Any nearby lakes, national parks, or scenic outlooks?  Do any downtown buildings have rooftop gardens?  Know a friend of a friend that owns any country acreage? Nothing nearby? Consider taking a spontaneous day drive to add a touch of adventure. Also, consider the time of day for your picnic.  Does your significant other love the stillness of the morning?  Do you love watching the stars together at night?  Do you love the feeling of the warm spring rays of sun on your face?  Whether you are a morning or evening person, personalize your picnic to you and yours’ tastes.

 

The Perfect Setup

To make a picnic extra special, consider going all out.  You’d be surprised at how simple {and fun} trading in the paper and plastic for a smidgen of fancy.   Regardless of your location and time of day,
bring your home on the road.  The following is a guide to packing the perfect picnic:

  • A picnic basket (or any oversized basket will do)
  • Two comfy and oversized outdoor pillows
  • Soft Blanket (think cotton/linen blends)
  • Two Linen Napkins (think greys, blues, or naturals)
  • Two China or Dinner Plates (layer with paper plates for toting)
  • Two Glasses
  • 2 Sets of Silverware
  • Bouquet of Flowers (think favorites and keep wrapped in tissue)
  • Fragrance-free Tea lights and glass holders (don’t forget the lighter)
  • Wet Wipes and Trash Bag for cleanup

 

A Perfect Menu

Step up the romance and order out a “tasting” of food from your favorite restaurant.  Or. order out from that restaurant that you’ve always wanted to try.  Consider cooking something new (but plan to make it one day earlier to make sure it comes out right).  If you like adventure, stop by a local food market and build your picnic menu together.  While you are planning a romantic picnic, it’s always good to keep in mind that it is still a picnic.  If you and yours love messy barbeque, go right ahead and enjoy the very messy {and memorable} time of eating it right off of your china plates.

A Perfect {and Surprising} Touch

To make the time together extra special and memorable, consider bringing your guitar and playing you and yours’ favorite song.   Or better yet, write them a song or poem.  It might sound mushy, but it will be a memory that the two of you will not too soon forget.  Later, you can handwrite the lyrics or lines, frame it, and place in your home.

An {Imperfect} Surprise

Just as life has surprises, you might experience a few of your own.  Don’t get discouraged if you have a flat tire on the way to the countryside, or if a rainstorm drenches your beautiful spread, or if it turns out to be children’s day at the park.  Embrace the surprises and don’t let it ruin your special time.  Surprises give couples a chance to laugh together, make adventures of their own, and have a fabulous story to tuck away until the perfect dinner party with friends.

As biblical women, our marriages are faint images of the true marriage between Christ and His Bride (Eph 5, Col 3:18-19).  Spending quality time as husband and wife is essential to building a strong and loving marriage, and can be a model for younger women in our lives (Titus 2).  Planning a romantic picnic for you and yours is a creative and meaningful way to spend time with your significant other while embracing simplicity and without abandoning charm.  Plan the essentials, throw in a few  surprises of your own, and embrace the interruptions.  You’ll create a romantic space and a memory to share.

Here’s to making your house a home…even on the road.

 

Melissa Meredith is pursuing a Master of Divinity in women’s studies at Southwestern Seminary. She loves decorating, dark chocolate gelato, and is passionate about teaching women God’s sacred design for set-apart femininity. Connect with Melissa on Facebook!

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Move Over, Martha Stewart! An Interview with the Editors of “The Christian Homemaker’s Handbook”

Tuesday, April 2, 2013 by Katie McCoy

Move Over, Martha Stewart! An Interview with the Editors of “The Christian Homemaker’s Handbook”

Move over, Martha Stewart, there’s a new “good thing” in town! Last month marked the release of the highly anticipated go-to resource, The Christian Homemaker’s Handbook. Covering everything from parenting and money-management to nutrition and working from home, this 40-chapter volume is designed to motivate and mentor today’s woman in modern challenges of nurturing her home and family. Featuring over 20 authors, contributors range from single young adult to seasoned professional woman, both single and married, and wives with and without children. For many women, the term “homemaker” invokes visions of a June Cleaver vacuuming in pearls. But with relevant topics like using your kitchen to serve others, cultivating family worship, and caring for aging parents, the Handbook challenges readers to check their preconceived notions about homemaking at the door.

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Getting House-Guest Ready

Thursday, March 7, 2013 by Melissa Meredith

Getting House-Guest Ready

My maternal grandmother has this set of peachy, floral sheets.  These sheets are legendary among her granddaughters.  They smell of honeysuckle and shared memories, and while they’ve become worn and rather faded after years of summer visits, to us girls they are a treasure.  We know whenever we spend the night at Grandma Katie’s home, we’ll climb into bed, snuggle under the covers, and those peachy, rose sheets will be there welcoming us back home.

Creating a special space for guests in your home involves more than just preparing a comfortable place for them to lay their head; it is an opportunity to ensure they feel welcomed and relaxed.  So how do you ensure a memorable visit for your houseguests?  Whether you are expecting house guests soon or not, follow these easy ideas for preparing your place ahead of time, so when you do have guests, they will feel at home and you can enjoy the company without the stress!

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From Drab to Fab: Table Decor on a Budget

Monday, January 28, 2013 by Melissa Meredith

From Drab to Fab: Table Decor on a Budget

From adding to the ambiance to sparking conversation, there is just something inviting about a wow-worthy table arrangement!  The next time you sit down to prepare your grocery list, consider how your dinner table can bring your family closer together simply by your centerpiece.  Whether you’re keen on rustic elegance, a twist of modern, or tailored chic, you can keep your table looking great without breaking the bank.  Not too girly and not too “granny,” these six charming yet simple ideas are husband-approved, kid-tested, budget-friendly, and take your dinner table from Drab to Fab in no time!

Before the decorating begins, think about inviting your whole family to join in on the fun.  From your handyman husband, to your paint-anything-in-sight toddler, to your creative, budding teenager, gather the family together to create a table that represents your family’s faith and personality.  Not only will you be adding a pop of color and spice to your home during the wintry months by dressing up your table,  but you will also be teaching spiritual lessons along the way about faith, family, and the contagious gift of hospitality (Deut 6:7; Rom 12:13;  Josh 24:15).

 

Classic Charm

Big blossoms like hydrangeas, peonies, garden roses, and allium look gorgeous displayed in an unused serving piece, like a teapot.  A timeless centerpiece, floras add simple elegance to the table without much effort. Don’t have a sterling silver or gold serving piece?  Not to worry.  Simply stop by your local Goodwill and rummage through the home-goods section.  Look for timeless treasures like gold, silver, vintage, and glass pieces, whether vases, soup tureens, or a fabulous gold-plated dish with raised legs. After selecting the perfect container, run to your favorite grocery store, or better yet find a nearby fresh flower market, and select four or five eye-popping blossoms of your choice.  Cut the steps 1-2 inches while underwater, remove any leaves that fall below the waterline, arrange in your charming container—and voila—a classic charm that brings color and warmth to your home.

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Decorating for Real Life

Thursday, April 12, 2012 by Melissa Meredith

Decorating for Real Life

A home straight from the pages of House Beautiful.  I had just moved into my first apartment and I could not wait to start decorating.  Never mind that the space was only 492 square feet with retro fixtures, century-old appliances, and…wait for it…mustard tile.  It was all mine and I had big plans for my tiny home.

Have you ever stopped to consider how you decorate your home?  Whether you realize it or not, how you decorate your home can foster hospitality.

Think about it.  As women, the home is our primary place of ministry (Titus 2:5, I Tim 5:14).  Learning how to be keepers of our homes involves more than managing the order and cleanliness, although these are very important skills to learn.  It also involves learning how to beautify a home.  However, beautifying your home is much more than just decorating.  It’s learning to create spaces that exude warmth and invite people to take off their shoes and stay awhile.

Just think for a moment how your own home is a place of ministry for your family, friends, and guests.  Playing board games around the table during Family Night.  Counseling a newlywed couple through their first disagreement.  Sharing laughter with your girlfriends over tea and scones.  Throwing a baby shower for an unsaved neighbor.  Inviting the college-aged girls over for a chick flick and popcorn. Yes, how we use our homes for outreach and to care for others can start with decorating for real life.  So what does Scripture say about this subject?  Let’s look at one woman who was praised by her family and the Lord for “looking well to the ways of her household” (Proverbs 31:27).

I think if the Proverbs 31 woman lived in the twenty-first century, she would be dubbed Pinterest Queen Bee! Can you just imagine her DIY (Do It Yourself) pin board?  Joking aside, we can learn from her.  Why?  Because her attentiveness to her home is God’s standard for our conduct.  Let’s look at Proverbs 31:10-31 more closely.

*   “the heart of her husband trusts in her” (verse 11): I dare say it is no coincidence that above all the things covered in this passage, this is the first thing that we learn about her.  What a compliment!  Her husband trusts in her to manage the home well.  No doubt this included how she spent their money and used her time and creativity to make their house a home.

*   “she works with willing hands” (verse 13): The Proverbs 31 woman works with willing hands because she has a willing heart.  She has embraced her role as attentive homemaker and valuable helper.  A word to my fellow single gals: God has so beautifully gifted our feminine hearts, minds, and hands to create a home.  Regardless of our martial statuses, we all need to learn how to make our homes a priority in our lives.

*   “she considers a field and buys it” (verse 16): Picture the following scenario with me.  There’s a sale at the local flea market.  The Proverbs 31 woman spots the most gorgeous midnight blue throw.  It is to die for. 100% camel hair.  50% off.  She sips her chai goat’s milk and considers the purchase.  It’s on sale…But I already have two.  But it’s reversible….But you don’t need it.  But it’s so soft!…But it’s not in the budget.  Sigh. And with the last sip of her chai she turns and walks away. Proverbs 4:1 says, “The wisest of women builds her house, but folly with her own hands tears it down.”  It is wise to consider your budget, your needs, and your priorities.

*   “she opens her hand to the poor and reaches out her hands to the needy” (verse 20): The Proverbs 31 woman lives her life with open hands.  She doesn’t keep her possessions or blessings to herself.  Rather, she opens her heart and home to others to provide refuge, refreshment, and renewal.

*   “she makes bed coverings for herself” (verse 22): Oh, but Melissa, you don’t understand.  I don’t sew.  And Pinterest – not a fan!  In fact, I don’t have a creative bone in my body. I realize that not every woman considers herself ‘crafty.’ However, learning the art of DIY projects—however small—is a creative way to stay within your budget and have fun in the process. (more on DIY projects later).

*   She understands that “charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised” (verse 30): The Proverbs 31 woman understands that ultimately earthly possessions will fade away.  She is a woman who is not dependant upon her possessions to gain status or favor from her friends; rather, she finds her satisfaction in the Lord alone.  May we remember that how we decorate can foster hospitality; however, a beautiful house without a hospitable heart and hands is just a beautiful house.

So, practically speaking, how do you decorate a home that fosters hospitality?

It’s all about relationships: color, textures, and patterns.  Does your home need a splash of color?  Is your kitchen table a dumping ground for everything from junk mail to homework?  Do you think you have to sacrifice comfort for sophistication?  Do thoughts of color palettes, fabric patterns, and floor plans cause your hair to frizz?  Here are a few tips and tricks that will help you in your journey to creatively adorn a hospitable home.

Decorating Tips and Tricks

1. Reflect your Style: Everyone has a decorating style that’s all their own.  Have fun decorating your house!  While magazines and decorating website have great ideas to imitate, ultimately you will want to decorate with the things you love.  Below I have defined four major decorating styles. You might find out that you are a mixture of two.  For instance, my decorating style is Classic/Modern.  Knowing your style will help you when you are ready to start decorating.

  • Casual: Think traditional. Early-American furniture design. Country cottage. Shabby chic. Weathered look. Warm wood tones. Natural and muted color palette. Solid patterns.
  • Classic: Think a blend of traditional and sophisticated. Old-world element. Feminine detail. Dark woods. Neutral and soft color palette. Glass accents. Fine fabrics.
  • Vintage: Think layered look of flea-market finds. Handmade items, and antique treasures. Timeworn. Dusty and gem-toned color palette. Diverse fabric patterns. Decorative accents and artwork galore.
  • Modern: Think clean and contemporary. Colorblocking. Light and dark woods. Simple furniture. Bold accents. Geometric and abstract patterns.

2. Begin with a fresh start. Decorate one room at a time.  Start by defining the needs of your room first.  Clear out any clutter that does not fit these needs (Breathe, my fellow hoarders!).

3. Invest in substantial pieces. Spend money on the items that you will have for a lifetime, such as couches, statement chairs, and dining room tables.

4. Anchor in Neutrals, Accent in Patterns. Most likely, your style will evolve over time.  Therefore, it is better to buy big furniture pieces in neutral tones and accent smaller, decorative pieces (pillows, lamps, rugs) in patterns and colors.

5.  Color is your friend! One of the hardest things to do when decorating is to choose a color scheme.  However, bringing color to a room is an instant brightener and mood lifter. Rather than picking one single shade, bring in shades of color.  If you are longing for color in your home but overwhelmed by the rainbow of options, consider visiting www.design-seeds.com You can search their color palette by color value or theme and find hundreds of {really cute!} 5-tone color schemes.

6. Create conversation areas. Whoever said furniture has to stay on the walls?  Pull furniture away from the walls to create conversation areas for you and your guests to enjoy.

7. Make your own art.  Sites like Pinterest are a great way to inspire your own artwork (or involve your children or girlfriends).  If you need a little inspiration, I invite you to follow my DIY board at pinterest.com/pinklovelies.  The possibilities are endless and your wallet will thank you.

8. Group collections. Grouping gives collections cohesiveness and reduces the cluttered look.  Also, they make great conversation starters for guests.  Whether a gallery of family photos or your grandfather’s collection of cuckoo clocks, displaying things you are passionate about brings life and love into any home.

I encourage you to prayerfully consider how to use your home for outreach and care to others.  The way we decorate our homes can spark hospitality.  May we as Christian women be modern day Proverbs 31 women who create homes with willing hearts and hands.  May our homes provide hope and share the love of Christ for all who walk through our doors!  So go on, get your décor on! 

Melissa Meredith is pursuing a Master of Divinity in women’s studies at Southwestern Seminary. She loves decorating, dark chocolate gelato, and is passionate about teaching women God’s sacred design for set-apart femininity.Connect with Melissa on Facebook!

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The Glory of the Mundane

Tuesday, April 10, 2012 by Elizabeth Owens

The Glory of the Mundane

Hear, O Israel.  The Lord our God, the Lord is one!  You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength.  And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart.  You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up.  You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes.  You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.

Deuteronomy 6:4 – 9

 

This Old Testament passage, known to those of the Jewish faith as the Shema, was spoken by Moses to the children of Israel as they were about to enter the Promised Land.  It is a great passage for parents; it contains some of my favorite verses of instruction for teaching and training my children.  But don’t stop reading if you are not a mom, because those are not the verses I am focusing on right now, and what I have to say applies to you, too!

The last two sentences describe actions that are not familiar to most of us.  If you were to visit the Wailing Wall in Jerusalem you would see Jewish men praying, and you might see some of them wearing phylacteries.  Phylacteries are strips of leather that are wound around the arm and hand, and around the head. They are attached to small square leather boxes that contain portions of scripture.  One box would be visible on the forehead, the other would be on the upper arm.  These are what the verses above are describing.

“So what does that have to do with me?” you may be thinking.

Moms, I’ll start with you.  There are days in the life of a mother, especially a mother of preschoolers that seem filled with tasks that are repeated over and over again.  You change diapers, wash dishes, fold laundry, change diapers, wipe runny noses, wash little hands, change diapers, pick up toys, fix meals, clean the bathroom, change diapers, and on and on.  You may hear from others that you lead a boring life of an endless repetition of menial tasks.  Some days you might even start to believe that.

When I have days like that, I try to remember God’s directive to the Israelites, to bind His scriptures to their hands.  I may not actually see straps wound around my fingers and hands, but I can imagine them there as I use my hands to care for those I love the most, those whom God has entrusted to me to nurture and raise for His glory.  I think of Ecclesiastes 9:10a which tells me, “Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with your might;” and I begin to find glory and even joy in the mundane, as I serve God by serving my family, caring for their most basic needs with my hands.

The Jewish man who wears the straps on his hands sees them as he prays, just as I “see” the straps as I use my hands to serve God.  But he does not see the box of Scriptures bound on his forehead; instead it is seen by all who look on his face, and is a testimony to his desire to obey God.

In the same way, others may not see a box of verses on my forehead when they look at me, but what do they see?

What do my children see?  Do they see an angry mom, an impatient mom, a sad and frustrated mom?  Or do they see a face that reflects the peace and joy that only Jesus can give?  Do they see God’s love for them on my face in the midst of a hectic day filled with all the seemingly trivial tasks, endlessly repeated, but so necessary to the care of a family? Now the truth is that while moms are often told that their days contain mindless tasks, the same can be said about almost any job in the world.  They all have some element of necessary but mind-numbing requirements.  Ask any nurse, or teacher, or pilot, or engineer, or bus driver, or student, or whoever!

So for those of you reading this who are not moms, here is your challenge:  As you go about your work each day and you use your hands for paperwork, or checklists, or whatever it is that you wish you didn’t have to do, learn to find the joy of serving God even in the repetitious or mundane tasks. Strive to complete them with excellence, “with your might,” for God’s glory.  And when those with whom you work look on your face, will they see an angry co-worker, an impatient co-worker, a sad and frustrated co-worker, or will they see a face that reflects the love and joy that only Jesus can give, a face filled with God’s peace, even in the midst of a hectic day?

One final thought.  The last verse describes what is known as a mezuzah—a small box or cylinder containing scripture, which is fastened to the doorposts of a home.  All who enter that home see it and know that those who live there value scripture and seek to obey God’s laws.

We may not have scriptures attached to our doorposts, but do all who enter our homes discover that those who live in them love Jesus and are trying to order their lives around his Word?

This applies to all of us, married or single, with or without children, living in a mansion or in a tiny apartment. Our homes should be a place of peace and joy, a refuge for our families first of all, and then for all others who walk through our doors.  May we allow God to so order our homes, our families, and our lives, that even our dwellings become a testimony to His grace and salvation.

Elizabeth Owens is the wife of Waylan Owens, Dean of the School of Church and Family Ministries,  the mother of Blayne, Joshua, Grace, and Mary, and the mother-in-law of Cari.  She has served as a nurse, a pastor’s wife, and a professor’s wife, and is in her 18th year of homeschooling. She enjoys reading books and drinking tea – especially at the same time!

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