Redeeming the Time

Tuesday, May 8, 2012 by Candi Finch

 Summer – it’s a word that causes students to dream of days with no alarm clocks jarring them from peaceful slumber and to dream of nights spent hanging with friends instead of cramming for exams or writing last minute papers.  Three whole months of freedom! Truth be told, students are not the only ones who look forward to summer. I have already been making my “to do” list of all the things I am hoping to accomplish while there is a bit of a break in my routine. However, I have noticed that even with the best of intentions, it is really easy to waste time during breaks instead of utilizing it. Whether you are a student, a business professional, a stay-at-home mom, or a senior saint, I imagine you, too, can think of times when you have not made the most of your “free” time.

One unknown author once said, “Ordinary people think merely of spending time.  Great people think of using it.“ For Christians, we must realize that during those days we may have more freedom with our time, it doesn’t lessen the responsibility we have to use our time wisely for the Lord.  The idea of “redeeming our time” is found in several places in Scripture:

• Ephesians 5:15-17 says, “See then that you walk circumspectly, not as fools but as wise, redeeming the time, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be unwise, but understand what the will of the Lord is.”

 

• Colossians 4:5-6, “Walk in wisdom toward those who are outside, redeeming the time. Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned with salt, that you may know how you ought to answer each one.”

 

Our time is a stewardship given to us by God, and we have a duty to use it wisely. I am afraid that for many of us, we forget that our time is not really our own. So, as summer begins and brings more free time for many of us, I encourage you to consider some of the following ways to start REDEEM-ing the time:

1. Realize your purpose on earth – The first step in making the most of our time is realizing that we are here to make Christ known to others and advance His kingdom. It is easy to get distracted with the “everyday-ness” of life sometimes and forget that God has a purpose for us here in this life, and it is probably not to be the highest scorer on Words with Friends or to demonstrate an encyclopedic knowledge of every latest TV show. If we get so busy or distracted or just plain lazy that we miss opportunities to share the gospel or serve someone in His name, then something is not right.  
2. Evaluate your priorities and how you spend your time – I am a people pleaser so it is hard for me to tell people “no” when they ask me to do things. The problem is, though, that I end up over committing myself. Instead of doing a few things with excellence, I end up doing a lot of things “okay.” I have found that it is important from time to time just to consider all the things on my plate to evaluate which things really shouldn’t be there.
3. Determine to change areas where you are not using your time wisely – It may seem simple, but this step is where many women drop the ball. We can view our time through a kingdom focus and evaluate how we spend our time in light of that, but if we do not make changes, then we have missed the mark.  
4. Eliminate distractions – In my own life, I have found that tv can be a real distraction for me when I am trying to get writing projects done. There have been periods in my life where I had to unplug my tv (I even moved it into a closet one summer!) just to make sure it wasn’t a temptation in my life to waste time. I don’t know what your distractions are – facebook, shopping, tv, sleeping—but I do know that you will never be able to accomplish all that you want if you allow distractions to rule your life.
5. Enlist help – Accountability is crucial. My twin sister has been a great help to me when I am trying to stay on task. I let her know what I am trying to get done and the steps I am taking to eliminate distractions, and then she calls me often to make sure I am staying on task. Find people in your own life who will help you redeem your time.
6. Manage your time well – You must remain vigilant in guarding your time. I am not saying that you never take a day to relax (in fact, God said we should take a day every week to rest), but I think many of us have lost our urgency in being about the Father’s business. I encourage you regularly examine your life for ways to make the most of the time God has entrusted to you.

 

This is the beginning of a new day.
God has given me this day to use as I will.
I can waste it or use it for good.
What I do today is important, because
I am exchanging a day of my life for it.
When tomorrow comes,
this day will be gone forever,
leaving in its place something
that I have traded for it.
I want it to be gain, not loss;
good not evil; success not failure;
in order that I shall not regret
the price I paid for it.
Author Unknown

 

 

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U R Known by What U Search 4

Thursday, May 3, 2012 by Katie McCoy

 I was sure that I’d been hacked. There was no way that could have appeared on my Facebook page…and consequently on several hundred other people’s news feeds. But somehow, through the all-knowing Google Search which connected to an unknowingly employed Yahoo Reader App, which connected to my social life on a webpage a.k.a. Facebook, the entire scope of my acquaintances could see that I had been searching for the best (a-hem) undergarments for women of my (a-hem) proportions. Since when did researching the right women’s intimates become a newsworthy item to be shared online, you ask? Since everything from the articles we read to the music we hear became integrated into one identity-expressing website. The only thing that hacked my Facebook was my own stupidity.

Apps like Yahoo Reader aren’t the only signs of social streamlining. Have you noticed those ads on the side of your Facebook page? They’re tailored to fit your interests, tastes, and even whatever search terms you have Googled. Why? Because sites like Facebook testify to a truth that even an unbelieving world already knows:

We are known by what we’re searching for.

What We’re Searching For Reveals our Disposition

It might sound like a word out of a Jane Austen novel, but “disposition” refers to an inclination or a tendency. Scripture directly links whether or not our hearts are inclined toward God to our obedience. “But they did not obey or incline their ear, but walked in their own counsels and the stubbornness of their evil hearts, and went backward and not forward” (Jer. 7:24, also check out Josh. 24:23 and 1 Kgs. 8:57-58).  The Psalmist prayed, “Incline my heart to your testimonies…” (Ps. 119:36) What is your disposition toward the heart of God? Does obedience seem like a burden or do you find joy in living a life set-apart for Christ? (1 Jn. 5:3, 1 Pet. 3:15)

The true disposition of our hearts is whatever we have inclined them towards.

So how do we cultivate a disposition that is inclined toward and seeks after God? We start by pursuing spiritual disciplines like prayer, studying the Word, fasting, confession and being in Christian community with other believers. If you’re looking for a helpful kick-start on how to develop a lifestyle that’s inclined toward God, check out Celebration of Discipline by Richard Foster and focus on two disciplines each month. You’ll be amazed at how your disposition toward the things of God will increase!

What We’re Searching For Reveals Our Desires

Scripture tells us that we ultimately follow after whatever we desire (2 Pt 3:3, Jude 1:16) We’re told to walk by the Spirit so that we won’t gratify the desires of the flesh, “For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do.” (Gal. 5:16-17).

We search for the things that our hearts desire, and those desires inevitably determine our deeds. Be careful not to get these switched around! We can’t change our inner desires with our outward deeds. It’s actually the other way around. We won’t overcome those bad habits, destructive patterns and besetting sins until we’ve been given new desires (Ez. 36:26, Phil. 2:13)

And when our disposition is inclined toward God, our desires begin to reflect His. (Ps. 37:4).

What is the desire of your heart today? Have you been longing for something that seems destined to remain unfulfilled? What have you been searching for that your good and loving Father would have you let go of and trust to His care? Psalm 145 promises that “He fulfills the desire of those who fear him.” (v. 19) Will you trust that He satisfies the desire of every living thing – including you? (v 16). Until our desires are rooted in and ruled by Christ, we’ll always be searching for that next thing.

What We’re Searching For Reveals Our Direction

It’s impossible to arrive at a destination without first going in its direction. Psalm 119 shows the connection between what you are searching for and your life’s aim. “Blessed are those who keep his testimonies, who seek him with their whole heart, who also do no wrong, but walk in his ways!…When I think on my ways, I turn my feet to your testimonies.” (vv. 2-3, 59)

Have you stopped to consider where your life is aiming?  I don’t mean big decisions like a job or an education or a spouse, as life-changing as those decisions are. If you zoomed out on your life to see what you are searching for, where are you headed? Are you headed for the snare that accompanies the approval-loving fear of man? (Prov. 29:25) Is your aim set for the ruin and destruction awaiting those that desire wealth? (1 Tim. 6:9) Are you targeting the harm and corruption that comes with foolish and ungodly company? (Prov. 13:20, 1 Cor. 15:33) Or, are you searching for the life that is gained by daily taking up your cross to follow Christ? (Lk. 9:23:24)

When our disposition and our desires are pursuing God’s presence, our direction will follow His.

He promises: “I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my eye upon you.” (Ps. 32:8) Psalm 105:4 tells us to “Seek the LORD and his strength; seek his presence continually!” Are you aiming for God’s presence where you’ll find “fullness of joy” (Ps. 16:11), or are you searching for an empty substitute? If you’re wondering which direction you’re life is going, just take a step back to see what you’ve been searching for.

What We’re Searching For – Can Change!

So what do we do when our dispositions, desires and directions need to be re-focused? Our restoration begins with a change in what we’re searching for. “Seek the Lord while he may be found; call upon him while he is near; let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts; let him return to the Lord, that he may have compassion on him, and to our God, for he will abundantly pardon.” (Is. 55:6-7)

The incredible promise of the gospel is that no matter how far off course we’ve gotten, we can incline our hearts to the Lord because He first inclined His heart to us (Eph. 2:1-10). God tells us to seek Him because He wants us to find Him. “I did not speak in secret, in a land of darkness; I did not say to the offspring of Jacob, ‘Seek me in vain.’” (Is. 45:19) Deuteronomy 4:29 promises that if you seek the Lord you will find Him, “if you search after him with all your heart and with all your soul.”

He is still the Rewarder of those who seek Him. (Heb. 11:6)  He is still the Generous Father who gives to those who ask Him. (Matt. 7:7-11)

So the next time you go to “Google it,” or see a column of interest-specific Facebook ads, or perhaps have one of your top-ten most embarrassing moments posted for all to see, let it remind you of this one aim-altering truth – you are known by what you search for.

“Now set your mind and heart to seek the LORD your God.”

1 Chronicles 22:19

 

Katie McCoy is pursuing a Doctorate in Systematic Theology at Southwestern Seminary. When she’s not studying for her classes (a rare occasion!), she loves hanging out with friends, eating sushi, learning new words and is currently a political news junkie. Connect with Katie on Facebook or Followher Twitter!

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BW Reads: Understanding “Ms. Understood”

Tuesday, May 1, 2012 by Lauren Moody

“Who does God say you are?”  asks Jen Hatmaker in Ms. Understood: Rebuilding the Feminine Equation.  As women, we must look to Scripture for purpose and meaning and Hatmaker attempts to answer this very question by exploring the women in the lineage of Christ –their lives, faith, and how God used them. Hatmaker highlights aspects of these women’s lives and identifies how God used them and graciously brought them in the line of Christ.

There are five women in the lineage of Christ that Hatmaker brings to the forefront, highlighting God’s work in their lives. 

• Tamar-While the author seems to cheer her on, she also acknowledges that Tamar did employ questionable methods.  According to Hatmaker, even though Tamar took charge of her own destiny, the Lord used her in the lineage of Christ.  The author concludes that God is the True Heroine of Tamar’s story.  God took a woman in her sinful state and allowed her to be used for His glory.
• Rahab-God used a prostitute to save two Israelite spies, and in His mercy covered her with grace and brought her into the Israelite family.
• Ruth- A Moabitess – a foreigner – God gave Ruth the honor of being the great-grandmother of the future King of Israel.
• Bathsheba-In spite of Bathsheba’s adultery with King David, God still redeemed her life and included her in the line of Christ.
• Mary-Exuding a quiet, humble, submissive spirit, Mary trusted that God would care for her.

As the author points out, it is through these women’s weaknesses and frailties that God was glorified, and that God can use anyone today.

However, there are some pitfalls to be aware of. Hatmaker seems to believe that men and women can equally fulfill one another’s roles.

She advocates for women preaching in churches, and gives an example of her preaching at a Baptist Church in Houston.  She also calls for mutual submission in contrast to Ephesians 5:22-33’s description of submission in marriage, saying, “The crazy idea of submission might seem archaic for this problem.  Even as I type the “S” word, I hear you sigh…Jesus introduced mutuality to unlock a prison cell.  Remember, He created them male and female and blessed them.  He blessed them both equally…There should be a holy respect between men and women.” (55)  If men and women can take on each other’s roles, women could be placed in authority over men in marriage relationships, and can cause some women to become defensive.

Hatmaker seems to believe that women have to continually defend themselves and their positions, but what about what Jesus has already done on the cross?  He has already defended our position.  We are to rest in Him because our honor has already been fought and paid for.  The fight is not with men, but against spiritual enemies.  Ephesians 6:12 “For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places.”   

Despite the book’s drawback, Hatmaker inspires women to take charge of their lives, but also to allow the Lord to work in their lives.

She gives an encouraging discussion on the identity of women, but falls short in correctly interpreting Scripture. Our sinful culture has written the feminine equation one way, and God has written it another. While our world may change, our identity in Christ never will.  Just like the women included in the lineage of Christ, our lives can be redeemed and transformed into a beautiful story of God’s redemption.

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When God Says, “No Ma’am!”

Thursday, April 26, 2012 by Amanda Walker

My daughter, Makaylan, is days away from turning a year old. As a result, my husband and I have entered a new phase of parenting – the discipline stage. Right now her biggest temptation is the electrical sockets. Though we have them covered, we still do not want her to play with them. We know that one day we will go visit friends who do not child-proof their homes, and we do not want her getting into the habit of playing with something that is potentially dangerous to her. But, every time she passes an electrical socket, she cannot resist the urge to touch it.

The first day she discovered her new “favored” toy, I spent most of my day bent over her, removing her hand from the socket, and repeating, “No ma’am.” During one instance, my husband counted how many times I gave her this instruction, and I repeated it 15 times before she finally became frustrated and moved on. Over the last few weeks, God has used these experiences to convict me of my own sin and temptations in life.

So what can a one year old teach you about discipline and discipleship? More than you can imagine.

The first thing I have learned is that God’s discipline is always for my good and for His glory. The writer of Hebrews gives a great description of God’s discipline when He says, “For the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives.” (Heb. 12:6) He goes on to say, “For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.” (Heb. 12:11) In the original language, the word “trained” is the Greek word gymnazo, which means “to exercise vigorously, in any way, either the body or the mind.”[1] Gymnazo is where we get our English word “gymnasium.” A gymnasium is a place of training. I played sports throughout high school and nearly two years of college; therefore, I am accustomed to the regimented and strenuous training that must occur in order to perform well. No athlete would dare go into a competition without first disciplining his or her body.

In the same way, God uses His discipline to train our hearts and our bodies to be submissive to His perfect will in order that His righteousness might be displayed in our lives.

I want my daughter to grow up to be a woman who loves and serves God with a submissive heart, but this submission does not come naturally. We are all tempted by certain lusts of the flesh, and sometimes it is difficult to pass up those opportunities to sin. God continues to remind me that in order for me to teach her how to submit to Christ, I must first submit myself under His Lordship. It is amazing how children can pick up on their parents’ lack of obedience. We cannot expect our children to be obedient to our instruction if we are not being obedient and submissive to God’s instruction. It first begins with us.

The second lesson I have learned is that discipline takes time. Too often I have seen parents “discipline” their children from the couch with a remote control in hand. In all honesty, that is the easiest thing to do. But, God commands us to train our children and not just to shout orders at them. I am so thankful that God does not discipline me haphazardly. Hebrews 5:8 says that Jesus “learned obedience through what He suffered.” Jesus, while in the flesh, had to learn to be obedient to the Father’s instruction. God allows temptations and difficult seasons into our lives in order to train us to trust in Him and obey Him. Scripture shows that no difficulty or temptation comes into our lives without first passing through the Father’s approval (Job 1:6-12). Learning obedience and submission takes a lifetime; therefore, careful instruction must be given in order to ensure growth in maturity.

For example, right now Makaylan is fighting the battle against the electric socket, but when she grows up she will have other temptations that will be more dangerous. If we are not diligent to train her in the small things, through discipline, then she will never learn self-control and submission for when the bigger temptations arise. She needs “hands on discipline,” meaning we must show her exactly what we expect and not just verbally rebuke her actions. God continues to show me that I need the same thing. I need for Him to show me, through His Word and through my situations, exactly what He expects of me.

The goal is to grow in Christlikeness.

As my husband and I enter this stage of discipline, I will admit that it is not a fun stage…and we are only at the beginning. I would much rather wrap Makaylan in my arms and snuggle with her than be firm about what she can and cannot do. But God has given us this precious child in order for us to train her according to His Word and His commands. As we train and discipline our daughter, it has been a blessing to get a glimpse into the heart of our Heavenly Father. Though His discipline is not always pleasant, it is exactly what I need. I want to encourage you (and me) not to run from the Father’s discipline, for by it, He is producing within us the fruit of righteousness. (Heb. 12:11)

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A Faith-Changing Vacation

Tuesday, April 24, 2012 by Diana Severance

Spring is well under way, and soon summer will be here – Vacation time!  Some of my favorite vacations have been visiting historic places, especially places associated with Christian history.  Seeing the church in Wittenberg where Luther nailed his 95 theses to the door, symbolically beginning the Reformation, somehow makes the event more real.  Visiting Bedfordshire and exploring scenes familiar to John Bunyan, one can easily see where Bunyan derived some of the images for his Pilgrim’s Progress.  Sitting in the pews of St. John’s Church, Richmond, it’s easy to imagine the cold day in 1775, when Patrick Henry delivered his famous “Liberty or Death” speech, filled with biblical references.  But the most fascinating journey is one to the places where biblical events actually occurred.  In the early days of Christianity, pilgrimages to the Holy Land became popular, and women were among the earliest pilgrims.[1]

One pilgrim named Egeria travelled from Spain throughout the Holy Land in 381-384 and kept a journal of her travels. Little is known about Egeria, but she apparently was a lady of some wealth to be able to make such a journey.   Possibly she had some connections with the imperial court of Emperor Theodosius the Great, who was from Spain.  Perhaps she was a nun writing for nuns back in Spain.

The beginning and ending of Egeria’s journal have not survived, but the middle portion is rich with descriptions of her travels and experiences from Mt. Sinai through her long stay in Jerusalem.[2] In her travels, Egeria wanted to visit places where biblical events occurred and to deepen her understanding of the Scriptures.  Everywhere she went she sought out religious leaders and local guides who could show her the sites, and then she read the scriptures focusing on those sites.  Always she was eager to see the places as they were from the scripture’s viewpoint.  She wanted to see where the glory of God was shown, and she climbed to the top of Mt. Sinai.  Monks showed her where the golden calf had stood, as well as the burning bush – whose roots they claimed were still there! Egeria visited Mt. Nebo, where Moses is buried. In Haran she was shown what was purported to be Job’s tomb and Abraham’s house.  Roman soldiers provided safe escort for Egeria during some of her travels, and religious leaders often provided hospitality.

The most interesting section of Egeria’s journal is her detailed account of the worship practices of the Jerusalem Christians.   Six churches in Jerusalem were associated with specific events in the life of Christ.  Daily and weekly services at each church focused on the event particular for each site, but a special series of celebrations were practiced throughout the developing liturgical year.  Egeria described in detail the celebration of holy week – the Scriptures read, the vigils, fasts, the processions.  She found the Good Friday service most meaningful with Scripture read the entire time and hymns sung.  From the Scriptures, the people learned that everything prophesied about Jesus’ suffering and death was fulfilled.  All were moved to tears to hear of the Lord’s suffering for them.  Egeria found a greater emphasis on the preaching of the Scriptures in Jerusalem than she found at home in Spain.  People coming to Jerusalem learned about the Scriptures connected with the various feasts of the Church and brought their renewed understanding of the Scriptures and the Christian year back to their home churches.  At a time when few people had a copy of the Scriptures for themselves, the liturgy of the church in Jerusalem increased their understanding of the Scriptures and their faith.

Egeria’s descriptions are so accurate and detailed that archaeologists have used her journal to plan their work.  Archaeologists uncovered Peter’s house in Capernaum in part from Egeria’s description that his house near the synagogue in Capernaum was made into a church. Behind everything Egeria did on her journey was a spiritual purpose – to verify and confirm her faith in the truth of Scripture through contact with the physical places the Bible had recorded God had particularly worked.  Much of the Bible is the outworking of God’s plan of redemption in history, and Egeria’s travels reflect the truth that Christianity is a faith rooted and grounded in history, in place and time.

Our God is intimately involved in the affairs of this world. And all history, including our present time, is under His care.

Speaking to the Athenians on Mars Hill, Paul declared that the very boundaries and times of the nations are arranged to bring people to Him (Acts 17: 26-27).  But not only the great history of nations, but our own personal lives are under His care.  This is the importance of that favorite verse in Romans 8:28, “all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.” Historic places and people like Egeria can deepen our understanding and appreciation for the wondrous works of God in our daily affairs and deepen our trust in His future work in our lives and among the nations.

Dr. Diana Severance is the Director of the Dunham Bible Museum at Houston Baptist University and the author of Feminine Threads: Women in the Tapestry of Christian History (Christian Focus, 2011).  She has taught courses in the history of Christian women at SWBTS since 2004. Her greatest joy, besides the Lord Jesus, is being married to Gordon.

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The Glory of the Mundane

Tuesday, April 10, 2012 by Elizabeth Owens

Hear, O Israel.  The Lord our God, the Lord is one!  You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength.  And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart.  You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up.  You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes.  You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.

Deuteronomy 6:4 – 9

 

This Old Testament passage, known to those of the Jewish faith as the Shema, was spoken by Moses to the children of Israel as they were about to enter the Promised Land.  It is a great passage for parents; it contains some of my favorite verses of instruction for teaching and training my children.  But don’t stop reading if you are not a mom, because those are not the verses I am focusing on right now, and what I have to say applies to you, too!

The last two sentences describe actions that are not familiar to most of us.  If you were to visit the Wailing Wall in Jerusalem you would see Jewish men praying, and you might see some of them wearing phylacteries.  Phylacteries are strips of leather that are wound around the arm and hand, and around the head. They are attached to small square leather boxes that contain portions of scripture.  One box would be visible on the forehead, the other would be on the upper arm.  These are what the verses above are describing.

“So what does that have to do with me?” you may be thinking.

Moms, I’ll start with you.  There are days in the life of a mother, especially a mother of preschoolers that seem filled with tasks that are repeated over and over again.  You change diapers, wash dishes, fold laundry, change diapers, wipe runny noses, wash little hands, change diapers, pick up toys, fix meals, clean the bathroom, change diapers, and on and on.  You may hear from others that you lead a boring life of an endless repetition of menial tasks.  Some days you might even start to believe that.

When I have days like that, I try to remember God’s directive to the Israelites, to bind His scriptures to their hands.  I may not actually see straps wound around my fingers and hands, but I can imagine them there as I use my hands to care for those I love the most, those whom God has entrusted to me to nurture and raise for His glory.  I think of Ecclesiastes 9:10a which tells me, “Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with your might;” and I begin to find glory and even joy in the mundane, as I serve God by serving my family, caring for their most basic needs with my hands.

The Jewish man who wears the straps on his hands sees them as he prays, just as I “see” the straps as I use my hands to serve God.  But he does not see the box of Scriptures bound on his forehead; instead it is seen by all who look on his face, and is a testimony to his desire to obey God.

In the same way, others may not see a box of verses on my forehead when they look at me, but what do they see?

What do my children see?  Do they see an angry mom, an impatient mom, a sad and frustrated mom?  Or do they see a face that reflects the peace and joy that only Jesus can give?  Do they see God’s love for them on my face in the midst of a hectic day filled with all the seemingly trivial tasks, endlessly repeated, but so necessary to the care of a family? Now the truth is that while moms are often told that their days contain mindless tasks, the same can be said about almost any job in the world.  They all have some element of necessary but mind-numbing requirements.  Ask any nurse, or teacher, or pilot, or engineer, or bus driver, or student, or whoever!

So for those of you reading this who are not moms, here is your challenge:  As you go about your work each day and you use your hands for paperwork, or checklists, or whatever it is that you wish you didn’t have to do, learn to find the joy of serving God even in the repetitious or mundane tasks. Strive to complete them with excellence, “with your might,” for God’s glory.  And when those with whom you work look on your face, will they see an angry co-worker, an impatient co-worker, a sad and frustrated co-worker, or will they see a face that reflects the love and joy that only Jesus can give, a face filled with God’s peace, even in the midst of a hectic day?

One final thought.  The last verse describes what is known as a mezuzah—a small box or cylinder containing scripture, which is fastened to the doorposts of a home.  All who enter that home see it and know that those who live there value scripture and seek to obey God’s laws.

We may not have scriptures attached to our doorposts, but do all who enter our homes discover that those who live in them love Jesus and are trying to order their lives around his Word?

This applies to all of us, married or single, with or without children, living in a mansion or in a tiny apartment. Our homes should be a place of peace and joy, a refuge for our families first of all, and then for all others who walk through our doors.  May we allow God to so order our homes, our families, and our lives, that even our dwellings become a testimony to His grace and salvation.

Elizabeth Owens is the wife of Waylan Owens, Dean of the School of Church and Family Ministries,  the mother of Blayne, Joshua, Grace, and Mary, and the mother-in-law of Cari.  She has served as a nurse, a pastor’s wife, and a professor’s wife, and is in her 18th year of homeschooling. She enjoys reading books and drinking tea – especially at the same time!

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My Shopping Addiction

Thursday, March 29, 2012 by Katie McCoy

Hi. My name is Katie and I’m a shopaholic. It’s been 12 days since I last used my store card.

It all started so innocently, really. “Would you like to save an additional 15 percent today? You know the more you spend with us, the more you’ll save!” After years of avoiding credit cards, I ever so gradually flirted with the idea of my first store card to my favorite retailer and, two months ago, finally signed up. At first, it was pure bliss – buy now, pay later, qualify for discounts, accumulate rewards. In fact, the bliss had become a regular habit. Need to chill out? Go bum around my favorite stores. Just finished a tough week? Maybe there’s a sale going on. But sometimes my reasons for shopping weren’t always so leisurely. Feeling stressed out, discouraged or depressed? A new sweater would make me feel better! Feeling dissatisfied or alone? Maybe a necklace to go with it, too! And then I got the monthly statement…and it was clearly time to re-evaluate my relationship with shopping.

Millions of women are addicted to what is known as compulsive shopping. Compulsive shopping is “a pattern of chronic, repetitive purchasing that becomes difficult to stop and ultimately results in harmful consequences.” One study found that compulsive shopping is more common among women than men. Just this morning, The Today Show featured a mother whose shopping addiction has her teenage daughter concerned about losing their home. Compared to other addictions, shopping is a seemingly respectable habit and often goes under the radar in our lives. If you’re mentally running through your receipts right about now, wondering if you might have a shopping situation of your own, consider some of these overspending-signs:

-       Do you feel a rush of anxiety and excitement when you spend money?

-       Do you shop as a pick-me-up when you’re feeling down?

-       Do you buy things you don’t need or have multiple items that you’ve never worn?

-       Do you spend an excessive amount of time shopping in stores, shopping online, or thinking about shopping, perhaps at the expense of your other responsibilities?

-       Do you feel a sense of guilt, embarrassment or confusion after you’ve spent money?

-       Do you conceal your purchases from your husband, family and friends?

-       Do you spend more than what you’d planned to or have to return things after realizing you can’t afford them?

In her book, When Spending Takes the Place of Feeling, Karen O’Conner explains that “[Compulsive shopping] is a serious addiction for millions of women, every bit as serious as drug, alcohol, or food use.” She also describes some of the deeper reasons that drive women’s out-of-control shopping. For some women, shopping brings a sense of excitement. The temporary thrill we get from the swipe of our credit cards is a euphoric high. For other women, shopping lifts their emotions. Who hasn’t felt better by a trip to the mall after a tough day? And for some women, shopping masks a greater pain. It gives a fleeting fulfillment for those from emotionally distant homes. Or perhaps it provides a sense of self-worth by believing that they will be loved if they spend money on others.

Whatever the underlying reason, millions of women are shopping for fulfillment.

While chronic overspending and credit card debt are certainly manifestations of a shopping problem, they are merely symptoms of the cause. The solution to over-shopping isn’t in better financial planning, and a “Just Say ‘No’ to Sales” approach. In fact, you could stick to the most money-savvy, Dave Ramsey-approved budget and still have a shopping addiction. Or you could use just a petite-sized sliver of your financial pie on personal spending, maybe even completely denying yourself of everything but the basics, and still not solve the problem. Why?

Because the core of our shopping addiction isn’t about our money-management, it’s about our hearts.

You’re probably familiar with Jesus’ “Sermon on the Mount” (Matt 5-7).  Throughout Jesus’ message, He cuts straight to the motive of our hearts. And His words about money do just that! He warns us not to “lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” (6:19-21) He also gives another sobering warning about money, “No one can serve two masters, for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and money.” (v. 24).

 

But sandwiched in between these verses are these curious words: “The eye is the lamp of the body. So, if your eye is healthy, your whole body will be full of light, but if your eye is bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light in you is darkness, how great is the darkness!” (vv. 22-24) Perhaps you, like me, were wondering what eyes, lamps and darkness have to do with you and your shopping issues, almost as though Jesus got off-topic. But instead, He is cutting to the core of every issue with shopping and spending that you and I will ever face. The main issue isn’t about whether we have money, or how much we have, or what we spend it on. The deeper issue involves the perspective with which you and I view money, and how our devotion determines our direction. Our perspective is determined by where our eyes are fixed. And where our eyes are fixed, our hearts will follow.

The amount that we spend on things isn’t the primary measure of our hearts, but the affection that we give to those things is.

Our hearts are constantly being tugged toward the lure of the temporal, whether we’re spending $10 or $10,000. Before we ever had a problem with where our money went, we already had a problem with where our eye went. If shopping, thinking about shopping, or the next thing you want to shop for becomes the focus of our hearts and the source of our joy, we’ve set our eyes in the wrong direction and are enslaved to our own skewed perspectives.

There’s a lot of good advice out there on overcoming compulsive spending. Cutting up the credit cards, leaving your wallet at home when you shop and joining a twelve-step program can all be helpful decisions. But, as Jesus’ words teach us, controlling our circumstances still won’t change our hearts. So how do we break the cycle of addiction that keeps our shopping habit from going out of business? Here are a few places to start:

-       Exchange it. We need a different kind of transaction to take place in our lives. That starts by acknowledging our shopping addiction for what it is – loving material things, giving in to our impulses and appetites and our attempting to satisfy a need apart from God. In exchange, God gives us His empowering grace to break the cycle of addiction.

-   Get a personal consultation. Ask the Lord to reveal your heart and the motives behind why you shop. Perhaps you would benefit from the help of a Christian counselor to get to the core of your overspending habits.

-       You can’t have just one. Don’t try to go solo or willpower your way to breaking a habit. Open up your life to godly accountability. On your next shopping trip, bring a trusted friend with you who will help you keep from purchasing more than you’d planned. Invite someone to ask you about the time you spend shopping online and consider staying off store websites for a while.

-       Return it. What do you have in your house right now that you could give away to someone else? (I can think of a few things myself!) Not only does giving away things help us simplify our lives, it also helps to free us from the anxiety that often comes with acquiring more and more things. (For more on this topic check out “The Discipline of Simplicity,” in the book Celebration of Discipline by Richard Foster.)

-       Play Dress-Up. This is fun one! Find some friends who are willing to contribute items from their closets and trade your clothes and accessories for a month at a time. You’ll get the variety of wearing different things. But even more, you’ll have to entrust your own things to others. Should something come back a little worse for wear, you’ll be reminded that it’s just stuff after all!

While I may be a recovering shopaholic, the more I confront it the more God frees me of from shopping for fulfillment. There are days when I’d rather spend an hour browsing online rather than face the discouraging mass of reading yet to be finished.  I’m realizing that the thrill of the “new” wears off as I wear it out the door, and doesn’t take away feelings of loneliness. And as much of a fun escape as it might feel in the moment, spending the day at the mall won’t fix the worry I feel when I don’t trust God with my circumstances.

It isn’t easy to confront why we do what we do. But it is the start to a whole new way perspective. The price for our freedom from compulsive shopping has already been paid. (2 Cor 5:21) And we can’t max out on the grace that we need to overcome our addictions.  Christ has provided all the fulfillment we could ever need. (Col. 2:10) We don’t need to shop for it.

Katie McCoy is pursuing a Doctorate in Systematic Theology at Southwestern Seminary. When she’s not studying for her classes (a rare occasion!), she loves hanging out with friends, eating sushi, learning new words and is currently a political news junkie. Connect with Katie on Facebook or Follow her on Twitter!

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