Shhh!! It’s a Habit You Didn’t Know You Needed

Thursday, May 16, 2013 by Katie McCoy

For the woman at the office, it’s the steady drip of phone calls and “quick questions.” For the mother of three, it’s the screech of quarreling toddlers. For the student, it’s the hub of the high school hallways. For all of us, no matter what the day holds, it most likely includes the constant, inescapable bombardment of noise. We go about the busyness of the workday, check off to-do lists, drive to and from here and there, and multitask our way to the day’s end.

The average woman’s day is inundated with noise. Perhaps we’ve been so surrounded by it that we haven’t even noticed just how noisy our lives really are. We’re so accustomed to the lack of quiet that two minutes of silence can range from awkward to unbearable and we quickly fill it with extra words, background music or the TV. Here’s something interesting: One study researched the effects of noise on the human nervous system and found that being around chronic low-level noise (not even loud, just continuous) can lead to negative moods, low concentration and fatigue. Also (and not a huge surprise) women are more sensitive to noise than men…a fact that any mom who’s ever locked herself in the bathroom to get three minutes of quiet and felt like it was a vacation can probably attest. We all need it, but odds are we’re either neglecting it or simply not able to find it.

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What Happy People Do Differently

Thursday, April 11, 2013 by Katie McCoy

I recently stumbled upon a list of the things happy people do differently. I was intrigued to hear their secret. Interestingly, it wasn’t the typical “self-help,” pep-talk kind of advice you might expect. In fact, it sounded more than a little familiar. Several of these secular secrets to happiness look a lot like the Creator’s blueprint for holiness. Maybe that’s because His commandments are not burdensome and His words really will bring joy to our hearts! (Ps. 19:8, 1 Jn 5:23) In fact, following Jesus is the secret to a happy life. So here it is: the happiness list – with a biblical twist!

Don’t hold grudges.

Unforgiveness saps our souls of strength. In fact, in Paul’s letter to the Corinthian believers, he actually connects unforgiveness with giving place to Satan’s schemes against our lives (2 Cor. 2:8-11). Matthew 6:14-15 says that whether or not we forgive others will prove whether we have really been forgiven. Not holding a grudge can be serious soul-work requiring regular maintenance. “We need to bear with each other, forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do” (Col. 3:13) Is there anyone in your life that you need to forgive? Is there something that gets your blood boiling just thinking about it? Choosing to forgive and release a grudge and leaving the judgment to God is a sure way to start experiencing a happier life!

Treat everyone with kindness.

Ephesians 4:32: And be kind and tenderhearted to each other. We might think being a strong person looks like giving others a “piece of our mind” when we’re snubbed or stepped on, but, 1 Peter 1:7 describes kindness is a sign of true maturity in Christ. Fashion comes and goes but kindness will never go out of style for a woman of God. (Prov. 19:22)

Express gratitude for what you already have.

God has some pretty strong words about longing for something that isn’t ours. Hebrews 13:5 says, “Let your conduct be without covetousness; be content with such things as you have. For He Himself has said, ‘”I will never leave you nor forsake you.’” Funny how God connects our tendency toward covetousness with the reality of His presence isn’t it? I think He wants us to be so rock-solid confident in the truth that, if he’s with us, we have and will have everything we truly need. Jesus warned us against being preoccupied with acquiring more and more things: “Take heed and beware of covetousness, for one’s life does not consist in the abundance of the things he possesses.” (Lk 12:15) When we quit spinning our wheels in pursuit of the next big thing, we’ll find a big puzzle piece of personal happiness fall into place.

Speak well of others.

Not only do our words have the power of life and death (Prov. 18:21), but also they often have a way of coming back to us! God makes a connection between what we speak and the state of our hearts. Ephesians 4:29 says, “Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers.”  Our words impart, or give, grace when they come from hearts that overflow with grace.

Get absorbed into the present.

It’s hard to live in the present when we focus on the past. We’ve all got a rear-view mirror that can keep us from moving forward when we’re stuck looking through it.  Living in the past robs us of the present. He wants us to live in the certainty of God’s forgiveness for the past, not live life looking though the rear-view mirror. 1 John 1:9 assures us that “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” A.W. Tozer once said, “God fully expects us not only to confess our sins but also to walk in the glow of God’s forgiveness.” With our past covered, and our present empowered, we can rest in the promise a secured future. Living in the present also means not being absorbed with the worries of tomorrow: “And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?” (Lk 12:25). Living in the present, with a forgiven past, and secured future, will definitely lead to a happier life.

Choose friends wisely.

“Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.” (Prov 27:17) It matters who our friends are. While we should always be cultivating relationships with people who need to know Jesus, your true friends are the people you identify with. First Corinthians 15:33 warns, “Do not be deceived: ‘Bad company ruins good morals.’” Our friends inevitably affect our life’s direction. “Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm.” (Prov. 13:20)

Meditate.

Scripture tells us to meditate upon the Word of God (Ps.119:15). Now I definitely don’t mean the kind of mediation that involves emptying your mind. Instead, we are to direct our thoughts to meditate on whatever is true, honorable, just, pure, lovely, commendable, excellent and praiseworthy. (Phil 4:8) Whatever we dwell on transforms us (2 Cor. 3:18). We are changed by what we focus on.

Tell the truth.

What a weight is lifted off of us when we simply tell the truth! Ephesians 4:25 says, “Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another.” Telling the truth means choosing to live as the new creations are we in Christ. “Do not lie to one another, seeing that you have put off the old self with its practices.” (Col. 3:9)

Live minimally.

Whether it’s the newest iPhone or yet another black dress, we probably all have items or spending habits that could be cut. 1 Timothy 6:6 tells us that godliness with contentment is great gain. Is there an area of life where the amount of time and money you have to invest in it is more draining than it’s worth? Living with greater simplicity keeps us detached from the fleeting stuff of the everyday world and attached to what will endure long after our own lives. It’s easier said than done – and very hard to remember when you walk by a good shoe sale, I know! But chances are, living minimally would help us zero in on the Lord, His Word, and other people. And that is definitely a great secret to a happy life!

Accept what cannot be changed.

There are some circumstances and people we’ll just never be able to change…a demanding boss, the consequences of a bad financial move, an uneasily pleased mother-in-law. But we have a promise that, if we really believe it for what it says, will change our focus on all of those frustrations. And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose” (Rom. 8:28) Do you realize that when God said that, He knew every situation that you’d be needing that promise for? It may not be that He works all things together quickly or easily, and in His mercy, He may allow us endure the effects of negative things that have happened. But thing is absolutely for sure: He will work it out for good –for your good!

Of course, none of these things can be lived out apart from being reconciled to God through faith in Jesus Christ (Rom. 5:1, 8:13). The truly happy life is the life full of His unshakable joy, a joy that comes from knowing we have peace with God through Jesus’ substituted life, death, and resurrection on our behalf. He wants you to live in the freedom of truth and integrity. Knowing and following Jesus is the secret to a truly happy life.

Katie McCoy is the editor of BiblicalWoman.com and is pursuing a PhD in Systematic Theology at Southwestern Seminary. When she’s not reading for her classes (a rare occasion!), she loves hanging out with friends, eating sushi, learning new words and shopping with her mom. Connect with Katie on Facebook or Follow her Twitter!

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How to Redeem the Next 24 Hours

Tuesday, April 9, 2013 by Karen Yarnell

Do you struggle with having enough time to accomplish your goals? Do your responsibilities seem greater that the 24 hours included in your day? Is your ‘to do’ list greater than your resources? Part of the limitations of being human is the struggle with time. Time moves forward at a consistent pace, yet seems to fluctuate at a pace opposite to our needs.

Days seem too short when my “to do” list is especially long, and days seem long when I am anticipating a coming event. My response is often to take charge of the day. Using my own strength, I try to make things happen. These days can result in me acting unkindly towards those who interfere with my goals, or result in accomplishing unnecessary tasks.

The Lord recently reminded me of the phrase, “redeeming the time.” Though I have heard the verse many times, I never noticed the word “redeemer” in relationship to time. Redeemer – one of my favorite words describing our Savior – refers to His act of paying the price to set us free from the power of darkness. “He rescued us from the domain of darkness, and transferred us to the kingdom of His beloved Son.” (Col. 1:13) The power of God is that He can transform a person or circumstance into something that brings Him glory.

No one and no thing are beyond His redemptive power – not even time!

We have a heavenly Father who is greater than time. In fact, He created it. Christ’s coming to earth was a point of intersection between the eternal God and limited humanity. Jesus entered our world of time with all of its needs and all of its limitations. Because He is the Redeemer, He can transform my time into that which glorifies Him.

God is good to instruct us in this conflict between what seems urgent and what is truly important.

Ephesians 5:15-16 says “See then that you walk circumspectly, not as fools, but as wise, redeeming the time, because the days are evil.” These verses are set in the context of Christ shining His light on us, awaking us from slumber. We are no longer in the dark. Therefore, walk circumspectly. Now that you can see, look around and be aware. Be wise. Be intentional. Take this day that is bound in a fallen world and redeem it for Christ. These verses in Chapter 5 of Ephesians give practical application for redeeming the time.

“So then do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is.” (v. 17)

Knowing God’s will for our plans can be a difficult task. One way of finding direction with the decisions of the day is to pray over the activities and concerns of the day. For some cultures, a day begins the evening before the sunrise. How prepared for today would I be if I prayed over my responsibilities the evening before? Wouldn’t this allow the Lord to give insight and direction for the needs of the day and allow Him to redirect me, if needed?

“And do not get drunk with wine, for that is dissipation, but be filled with the Spirit.” (v. 18)

This verse contrasts the wise and unwise. The unwise person will allow alcohol consumption to control their mental and physical capabilities. The wise person will be filled with the Holy Spirit. Only by the leading and power of God’s Spirit can our day be pleasing to the Lord. Many mornings, my prayer is “Lord, I cannot do this day. Please give me the strength.” And He is faithful!

“Speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody with your heart to the Lord.” (v. 19)

Our words reflect the relationship of our hearts to the Lord. Many days my ‘to do’ list becomes my focus. Consequently, those who interfere with its completion become the opposition. My unkind words toward others will reflect this unbalanced priority. May our hearts be a sweet melody to the Lord throughout the day.

“Always giving thanks for all things in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ to God, even the Father.” (v. 20)

This may be a seemingly simple instruction, but often the most difficult to obey – thankfulness in all things. A thankful heart colors our world so differently!

Lord, I am thankful for all that I was able to do today, though it was not all that I had planned.

Lord, I am thankful for the opportunity to comfort my child, though tasks were left undone.

Lord, I am thankful for having a moment to listen to the struggle of a friend.

Lord, I am thankful for the moments of quiet that allowed me to find rest.

Lord, I am thankful for the moment of conviction for sin, though difficult to admit.

Lord, I am thankful for your loving presence.

 

God’s tells us to redeem the time. Will you take a moment and seek the Lord’s direction concerning your day? May He give you strength by His Spirit, fill your heart with song, and find in you a thankful attitude. May we encourage one another and pray for our sisters in Christ as we redeem this day!

Karen Yarnell is a wife and mother of five, all between the ages of 6 and 21 years old. When she’s not homeschooling and teaching Bible study she’s working on her Master’s of Theology. She loves serving alongside her husband in the teaching ministry and loves to sew!

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The Real Issue Behind Our Words

Thursday, March 21, 2013 by Cheryl Bell

By the time my first child reached the age of two, I was desperate!  My strong-willed daughter needed little sleep, and God was using the stress of exhaustion to expose my heart.  He already knew what was there, but I was clueless.  I was shocked by what He uncovered.  A kind friend invited me to her Bible study and I went, determined to solve my problem!

As the teacher spoke God’s words to us (not the principles, not the stories, not the ideas, but the actual words), they did their work of purification and cleansing in my heart.  God’s Spirit used Scripture to identify lie after lie that I had believed and began the transformation that I so desperately needed (Heb 4:12).

One day as we discussed the Scripture, my teacher suddenly looked directly at me and rebuked me. “Cheryl, I do not care what you think. What does God’s Word say and where do you find it?”  I was shocked into speechlessness, but the truth of her words created in me a passionate desire to always be able to answer that question, both for my sake and for the sake of others.

More recently, God has again confronted me about my words.  As a daughter, wife, mother, sister, friend, counselor, student, and teacher, my life touches many others.  The Lord has simply asked me to evaluate my words when I do speak to make sure they come from Him.

I am asking you to join me in this process.

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The Gift of Pressure: How God Reveals Our Hearts

Tuesday, February 26, 2013 by Cheryl Bell

I can just hear the women as they bundled babies, chased children, and repeatedly packed and unpacked belongings with each move.  It was after all the wilderness and any complaints were surely justified – just consider the circumstances which God had led them into!  No food, no water – what did He expect from them?  Not even a a woman can create something out of nothing!

In the midst of their murmuring and complaining (Ex 6:8) they were not able to see God at work and the one year turned into forty.  It was a lifetime!  They and all of those around them ate the fruit of their lips – and it was not a pleasant way to fill bellies (Prov 18:20).

It was such a waste of suffering!

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Loving God by Caring for Our Bodies

Tuesday, January 29, 2013 by Cheryl Bell

As I made the long climb up the steps with my fellow exercisers, we greeted each other as we had for so many mornings.  It was 6:20 am and the sun wasn’t entirely up but we were!  As we hauled weights and mats to our meeting place, one member of our groups posed a question:  “Do you suppose that when we get to heaven, we will discover that God’s ideal is slightly plump?”  We laughed but didn’t even pause.  After spending three years’ worth of mornings working out with the different but “perfectly” shaped women on various DVDs, we were determined to continue what we had begun!

We have entered a new year and it seems everyone is setting goals for healthy eating and exercise. But there’s one valuable exercise which we could add to our new or existing routines – an examination of God’s Word and His perspective on our physical bodies.

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Are You Having a Spiritual Temper Tantrum?

Thursday, January 24, 2013 by Amanda Walker

Temper tantrums! If you are a mother of small children or had dealings with small children, then you know this scene well. Everything is going smoothly, and your child is happy until you tell your precious child, “NO!” All of a sudden the child melts down into a fit, kicking, screaming, and demanding that you allow her to do whatever it is she wants to do. As a mother of an almost two year old, temper tantrums are a daily occurrence in our house. Our sweet little girl all of a sudden turns into someone you do not know, and you wonder what happened to your well-mannered child. Most of the time there is no reasoning with the child, and you have to take some sort of disciplinary action.

A few weeks ago I was dealing with one of Makaylan’s tantrums when God spoke very candidly to my spirit. As adults, we like to think of ourselves as greater than a two year old, but many times we act just like them. We might not physically act out with kicking and screaming, but spiritually we close our hearts and resist God. We ask for something, and He says, “No” or “Wait.” And the temper tantrum begins. The Bible calls this a battle between the flesh and the Spirit. Romans 8:5-8 says, “For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit.  For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace. For the mind that is set on the flesh is hostile to God, for it does not submit to God’s law; indeed, it cannot. Those who are in the flesh cannot please God.”

So how can we, as daughters of God, begin to put our spiritual temper tantrums under His control?

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