When God Says, “No Ma’am!”

Thursday, April 26, 2012 by Amanda Walker

My daughter, Makaylan, is days away from turning a year old. As a result, my husband and I have entered a new phase of parenting – the discipline stage. Right now her biggest temptation is the electrical sockets. Though we have them covered, we still do not want her to play with them. We know that one day we will go visit friends who do not child-proof their homes, and we do not want her getting into the habit of playing with something that is potentially dangerous to her. But, every time she passes an electrical socket, she cannot resist the urge to touch it.

The first day she discovered her new “favored” toy, I spent most of my day bent over her, removing her hand from the socket, and repeating, “No ma’am.” During one instance, my husband counted how many times I gave her this instruction, and I repeated it 15 times before she finally became frustrated and moved on. Over the last few weeks, God has used these experiences to convict me of my own sin and temptations in life.

So what can a one year old teach you about discipline and discipleship? More than you can imagine.

The first thing I have learned is that God’s discipline is always for my good and for His glory. The writer of Hebrews gives a great description of God’s discipline when He says, “For the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives.” (Heb. 12:6) He goes on to say, “For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.” (Heb. 12:11) In the original language, the word “trained” is the Greek word gymnazo, which means “to exercise vigorously, in any way, either the body or the mind.”[1] Gymnazo is where we get our English word “gymnasium.” A gymnasium is a place of training. I played sports throughout high school and nearly two years of college; therefore, I am accustomed to the regimented and strenuous training that must occur in order to perform well. No athlete would dare go into a competition without first disciplining his or her body.

In the same way, God uses His discipline to train our hearts and our bodies to be submissive to His perfect will in order that His righteousness might be displayed in our lives.

I want my daughter to grow up to be a woman who loves and serves God with a submissive heart, but this submission does not come naturally. We are all tempted by certain lusts of the flesh, and sometimes it is difficult to pass up those opportunities to sin. God continues to remind me that in order for me to teach her how to submit to Christ, I must first submit myself under His Lordship. It is amazing how children can pick up on their parents’ lack of obedience. We cannot expect our children to be obedient to our instruction if we are not being obedient and submissive to God’s instruction. It first begins with us.

The second lesson I have learned is that discipline takes time. Too often I have seen parents “discipline” their children from the couch with a remote control in hand. In all honesty, that is the easiest thing to do. But, God commands us to train our children and not just to shout orders at them. I am so thankful that God does not discipline me haphazardly. Hebrews 5:8 says that Jesus “learned obedience through what He suffered.” Jesus, while in the flesh, had to learn to be obedient to the Father’s instruction. God allows temptations and difficult seasons into our lives in order to train us to trust in Him and obey Him. Scripture shows that no difficulty or temptation comes into our lives without first passing through the Father’s approval (Job 1:6-12). Learning obedience and submission takes a lifetime; therefore, careful instruction must be given in order to ensure growth in maturity.

For example, right now Makaylan is fighting the battle against the electric socket, but when she grows up she will have other temptations that will be more dangerous. If we are not diligent to train her in the small things, through discipline, then she will never learn self-control and submission for when the bigger temptations arise. She needs “hands on discipline,” meaning we must show her exactly what we expect and not just verbally rebuke her actions. God continues to show me that I need the same thing. I need for Him to show me, through His Word and through my situations, exactly what He expects of me.

The goal is to grow in Christlikeness.

As my husband and I enter this stage of discipline, I will admit that it is not a fun stage…and we are only at the beginning. I would much rather wrap Makaylan in my arms and snuggle with her than be firm about what she can and cannot do. But God has given us this precious child in order for us to train her according to His Word and His commands. As we train and discipline our daughter, it has been a blessing to get a glimpse into the heart of our Heavenly Father. Though His discipline is not always pleasant, it is exactly what I need. I want to encourage you (and me) not to run from the Father’s discipline, for by it, He is producing within us the fruit of righteousness. (Heb. 12:11)

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Body Image and The Baby Bump

Thursday, March 22, 2012 by Amanda Walker

Body Image. What woman does not struggle with these two words!? Over the past two years, I have found myself struggling with this issue in a way that I have not struggled since I was a teenager. My twenties was a period of intense spiritual growth, and, by God’s grace, I began to find contentment in the way God fashioned me. Not that I didn’t have moments where I wished I looked a certain way, but I found myself relaxing in my own skin and accepting who God had made me to be. When I got married two years ago, I had long put the battle of body image to rest, and I was moving on with life. Then it happened…motherhood.

I have been married for 26 months, and for 15 of those months, I have been pregnant. Seven months into our marriage, my husband and I were ecstatic to discover that we were pregnant with our first daughter. Four months after Makaylan was born God decided to bless us again with another pregnancy. Right now I am in the middle of my second pregnancy and with a body that never “recovered” from the first pregnancy. In the midst of feeling tired, bloated, stretched out, and overwhelmed, the enemy began to attack my self worth through attacking my body image. At times, I even found myself frustrated at my children for their effects on my body.

In the midst of this battle, God began to speak, and He used a familiar passage to teach me a new truth.

 In 1 Corinthians 6:19-20, Paul says, “Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.” This statement comes at the end of Paul speaking on the importance of sexual purity, but I also see other spiritual implications for these verses. Too many times we use our body for unholy things, and we dishonor God’s temple. When we eat unhealthy foods, fail to exercise, consistently deny our bodies the rest we need, and over-caffeinate our bodies to keep them working, we do not glorify God with our bodies. Instead, we treat our bodies as if we were the owners rather than regard God as the Ultimate Designer. In my twenties, God used these verses to convict me about my lifestyle, which caused me to make the needed changes to bring my life back to healthy living. But, over the last 15 months, God has shown me a new meaning for these verses as my body has continued to change.

Through this passage, God gives us two choices in how we use our bodies: for holy or unholy living.

Pregnancy, which is God forming another life in a woman, is one way He uses our bodies for His glory. The problem that many women face is that, often times, we get so caught up in the world’s view of us that we do not see the glorious thing He is doing in us as He forms this new life within. Instead, all we see is our expanding bodies and our desire to look a certain way. As I am learning, the process of carrying a child for nine months changes your body to such a degree that your body may never look the same again…There is a reason that mothers often refer to their figure as “before I had children” and “after I had children.”  

In her book Loving the Little Years: Motherhood in the Trenches, Rachel Jankovic brings great insight into the reality of how God uses a woman’s body for His glory. She says, “Our bodies are tools, not treasures… Motherhood uses your body in the way that God designed it to be used. Those are the right kind of damages…We are not to treat our bodies like museum pieces. They were not given to us to preserve, they were given to us to use. So use it cheerfully, and maintain it cheerfully. You want to fix your body up in order to be able to use it some more,” (emphasis added). 

When women allow God to use their bodies to produce life, they use their bodies as God intended.

Yes, pregnancy and motherhood changes your body to such a degree that you often do not recognize it, but we must remember that God is the one who made our bodies. We are to allow Him to use them as He pleases. I have often heard women exclaim that they do not want children because they do not want their body to change. Though that is a very popular thought, it is also selfish. Remember God’s word: “You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.” (1 Cor 6:20)

God gave me my body in order to be a good steward of it. But there is a huge difference between being a good steward of my body and refusing to allow God to use it as He deems appropriate. Will my body ever be the same? Probably not. But, as a result of giving my body to God for His use, I have had the joy of giving birth to one incredible daughter and anxiously awaiting the arrival of our second daughter. I want to encourage you mothers to see your bodies as instruments for God’s use and not a museum to be preserved. 

Rachel Jankovic.  Loving the Little Years: Motherhood in the Trenches. (Moscow: Cannon Press, 2010).  

Amanda Walker is in the Doctorate of Educational Ministries program at Southwestern. Her greatest joy is serving alongside her husband who is the University Minister at Cook Baptist Church in Ruston, Louisiana, and being the mother of an incredible daughter. In her “free” time she enjoys a good chat over a cup of coffee. Connect with Amanda on Facebook!

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Battling for Significance

Thursday, February 23, 2012 by Amanda Walker

Imagine the scene: You have been home with your children all day when your husband comes home to tell you about his exciting day. He’s been involved in life-changing meetings, made a huge business deal, or had the opportunity to meet and disciple a young couple who plan on getting married. You listen with pride but deep down your heart is hurting. After he finishes, he then asks: “How was your day?” You hear your mouth declare: “Well…I changed three poopy diapers; Anna threw up all over me; and I tried to get dinner fixed, but Anna had a meltdown.”

The battle for significance is a very real struggle to many mothers who have the amazing privilege to work inside the home. Many times young mothers bring their newborns home, and they are filled with excitement at the adventure and prospect of motherhood. This is what they dreamed about…having the opportunity to raise children to become godly men and women.

Yet, at some point, normally within the first year of her child’s life, Satan begins to attack her significance. He begins to whisper lies into her heart and causes her to question her worth and the job God has called her to do. Satan’s goal is to convince these mothers that their husbands or their friends who work outside the home are accomplishing something greater than they. After all, the “only” thing a mother does all day is change diapers and seek to prevent her two year old from tearing up the house. But, in the midst of the lies, you suddenly begin to hear God speak.

So, what does He say about the significance of motherhood?

First, God says that He has created mothers to be the nurturers and caretakers of their children in order to instill within their children the commands of God. Deuteronomy 6:4-9, in the Jewish tradition, is known as the Shema. In this passage, God tells parents to teach their children to “love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might.” (vs 5) God also tells parents to model His commands, talk about His commands, and teach His commands to their children throughout the day. Why are we to do this? So when our children ask one day: “What is the meaning of the testimonies and the statutes and the rules that the LORD our God has commanded you? Then you shall say to your son…the LORD showed signs and wonders, great and grievous…”(Deut 6:20-22)

Mothers, who stay home with their children get to spend all day with them and, throughout the day, share with them the wonders of God’s creation and glory. Children need to hear about the amazing works of God, and mothers have the opportunity to show them with their children. They also get to train their children in the commands of God through teaching them how to handle feuds with their siblings or teaching them how to share and demonstrate kindness.

Though motherhood sometimes looks like chaos (especially when a mom has young children), God affirms and encourages mothers to continue in the intentional training of their children. Training young ones in the commands of God is a full-time job and ministry that is vital to growing children to become men and women who have a heart to serve God.

Secondly, motherhood is an opportunity to fulfill the Great Commission. Matthew 28:19 says, “Go therefore and make disciples of all nations…” When Christians hear this verse, they often attribute it to missions, and rightly so. Yet, this verse goes far beyond just a mission’s command. God has given mothers “live in” disciples. When children are first born, they are a clean slate in which to instill God’s commands and principles. Many researchers show that a child’s personality and temperament is established in the womb, but parents can help nurture and develop their child’s personality during the child’s formative years. God has given parents the amazing ministry of discipling their children, and a stay-at-home mother has the opportunity to pour into her children throughout the day.

In her book, The Ministry of Motherhood, Sally Clarkson encourages mothers to develop a parenting plan on how to intentionally disciple their children throughout the day. In her work, she uses the acronym GIFTS as a guide. She says that God wanted her to instill within her children the “gift of Grace, the gift of Inspiration, the gift of Faith, the gift of Training, and the gift of Service.”

Making disciples is not just about going to another country and sharing the Good News of God’s salvation, but it is also being willing to disciple your children in the truths of God’s word. This ministry of discipleship is one of the greatest ministries of motherhood. 

The battle for significance is a battle that I have fought and will probably continue to fight as I grow in motherhood. Satan knows that one of the most powerful tools is a mother who is dedicated to discipling and growing her children to become godly men and women, and he will do and give her whatever lie she will believe to cause her to give up on this incredible task.

 But, we serve a God who is for us and wants to help us be the mothers who He has called us to be. So when the enemy begins to tempt you to question your significance, I encourage you to allow God to speak these tender words over you: “Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master.” (Matt. 25:21)

 What great joy and significance is found in motherhood!

Amanda Walker is in the Doctorate of Educational Ministries program at Southwestern. Her greatest joy is serving alongside her husband who is the University Minister at Cook Baptist Church in Ruston, Louisiana, and being the mother of an incredible daughter. In her “free” time she enjoys a good chat over a cup of coffee. Connect with Amanda on Facebook!

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Infertility: Where Grief Meets Grace

Thursday, February 2, 2012 by Terri Stovall

In a recent Huffington Post article, Melanie Notkin writes about her “secret grief” of being single and childless. She references the seeming difference in response a single woman receives and a married woman receives.  Similarly, Courtney Reissig posted a blog about her current infertility journey and the challenges that come with it. Both articles are telling. Even though they are on this journey for different reasons, both Notkin and Reissig refer to the pain and grief that seem to be traveling partners on the road of childlessness.

According to a study conducted by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention , it is estimated that 15% or 4.3 million married women in the United States have impaired fecundity. That is, they either have problems getting pregnant or have difficulty in carrying a baby to term. Of those women, 2.1 million are, by definition, infertile.  Assuming that these statistics hold, as many as 15% of the women sitting in our church pews, Bible studies, and small groups could be dealing with this secret grief.

As one who is walking this road and now finds myself at a point in life where the biological clock has put a period on the label “Infertile,” I can attest to the fact that the grief is real. I can also proclaim with all certainty that God’s grace is just as real and infertility can be a vehicle to the cross where Grief meets Grace.

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Voices of the Past: A Mother’s Advice

Tuesday, January 31, 2012 by Diana Severance

Children are a heritage from the Lord (Psalm 127:3), and a very important role of Christian women is the training of these precious treasures in the faith. Numerous Scriptures speak of the parental responsibilities to train children in God’s truth.  Parents were to teach the commandments of God “diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.”  (That means all the time!  Deut. 6:6-2).  Children were encouraged to hear “your father’s instruction and forsake not your mother’s teaching.” (Proverbs 1:8).

There are many women in Christian history who can be models and encouragers for the Christian woman of the 21^st century in the teaching and instruction of children.  One such woman, named Dhuoda, lived in France over a millennium ago.  Dhuoda took steps to ensure her fourteen-year-old would remember her words by writing them out in a Manual for My Son.[1] Her words are a beautiful example of a Christian woman’s wisdom and passion to fit her son for a life which was both “of service to the world and at the same time can always, through every action, give delight to God.”

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Cutting Spiritual Teeth

Thursday, January 26, 2012 by Amanda Walker

Over the past month and a half, my eight-month-old daughter has been cutting teeth.  You mothers know how painful that can be for both you and your child.  The day Makaylan began cutting her first two teeth she woke up crying, cried throughout the day, and then cried going to bed.  Out of the twelve hours she was awake, she cried ten of those hours (I am not exaggerating).  My husband and I tried everything to keep her comfortable, but we knew that the only thing that would bring her relief was for those two precious teeth to finally break through the surface.

God used that agonizing day to teach me a great spiritual truth.

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Cutting Spiritual Teeth

Thursday, January 26, 2012 by Amanda Walker

Over the past month and a half, my eight-month-old daughter has been cutting teeth.  You mothers know how painful that can be for both you and your child.  The day Makaylan began cutting her first two teeth she woke up crying, cried throughout the day, and then cried going to bed.  Out of the twelve hours she was awake, she cried ten of those hours (I am not exaggerating).  My husband and I tried everything to keep her comfortable, but we knew that the only thing that would bring her relief was for those two precious teeth to finally break through the surface.

God used that agonizing day to teach me a great spiritual truth.

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