Shhh!! It’s a Habit You Didn’t Know You Needed

Thursday, May 16, 2013 by Katie McCoy

For the woman at the office, it’s the steady drip of phone calls and “quick questions.” For the mother of three, it’s the screech of quarreling toddlers. For the student, it’s the hub of the high school hallways. For all of us, no matter what the day holds, it most likely includes the constant, inescapable bombardment of noise. We go about the busyness of the workday, check off to-do lists, drive to and from here and there, and multitask our way to the day’s end.

The average woman’s day is inundated with noise. Perhaps we’ve been so surrounded by it that we haven’t even noticed just how noisy our lives really are. We’re so accustomed to the lack of quiet that two minutes of silence can range from awkward to unbearable and we quickly fill it with extra words, background music or the TV. Here’s something interesting: One study researched the effects of noise on the human nervous system and found that being around chronic low-level noise (not even loud, just continuous) can lead to negative moods, low concentration and fatigue. Also (and not a huge surprise) women are more sensitive to noise than men…a fact that any mom who’s ever locked herself in the bathroom to get three minutes of quiet and felt like it was a vacation can probably attest. We all need it, but odds are we’re either neglecting it or simply not able to find it.

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The Prosperity Gospel is a Tofu Burger

Monday, April 15, 2013 by Katie McCoy

I’ve never understood the concept of a tofu burger. It’s not actually meat – it can be made to look like meat, it can even taste like meat. But the whole point of a tofu burger is so you won’t realize that what you’re swallowing is completely different than what you’re actually digesting. No matter how you dress it up and present it, it’s still just an imitation.

We’re surrounded by Christianity-imitating tofu. Best-selling authors, talk-show hosts and internationally broadcasted, stadium-filled conference speakers make up much of America’s religious media. And many of these popular and published personalities are dynamic and inspiring women. Unfortunately, while they may sound like they’re teaching genuine Christianity and look like true followers of Jesus, the main entrée they’re serving is tofu. It’s called the Prosperity Gospel, and before you and I swallow everything we hear in mainstream Christian media, we need to be aware of its ingredients.

A Self-Exalting Recipe

The low view of Jesus and the high view of humanity are common themes among many of TV’s top female preachers.  One woman taught that the Bible calls us, “little Elohims…it says that you are ‘little gods’…your spirit is God.” Here it is another way: “Jesus is not the only begotten Son of God – I am a son of God!”  Like most incorrect teaching, it has a grain of truth – Jesus was the firstborn of the resurrection (Col. 1:18) and we are adopted as God’s children and made co-heirs with Christ (Rom. 8:17). But unlike you and I, who are adopted and born into God’s family (Eph. 1:5, John 1:13), Jesus is the only begotten Son who was born as a human being but always existed in Eternity Past – because Jesus is God (John 1:1-3, 14). And while you and I have been made “partakers of the divine nature,” (2 Pt. 1:3), we’re still God’s creation – redeemed creation but still creation. While we are being made like God, we’re not “little gods.” It might sound subtle on the outside – it might even have some Bible verses attached to it – but its substance is made up of completely different ingredients than the message of Scripture.

As John MacArthur writes in his book, Hard to Believe, “in this new reformation of self-esteem, the first thing required is to pull God down from His supremely elevated place so you can then lift yourself up, replacing God-exalting theology with man-exalting self-esteem psychology.” Combine the stringing together of verses that are out of context with a low estimation of our own sinfulness and a cheapening of Jesus’ deity and you’ve got a recipe for ruin!

The Gluttony of Earthly Ease

Another common ingredient in this “imitation-Christianity” is that it’s always God’s will that we are physically and financially prosperous. If we’re sick, then ultimately we’re to blame. If we’re having troubles, it’s because we weren’t speaking positive things into our lives. For instance, one popular author said that Job brought all of his troubles upon himself because of his negative self-talk. We may lack faith, have some secret sin, need to give more money or, possibly, just not even be saved.

Here’s what one woman told her listeners to do: “If there’s anything in your body that’s not working right…put your hand on the part of your body…whatever it is…and I’m going to speak to it in the name of Jesus…In Jesus name, I command you to be healed from the top of your head to the soles of your feet!” The Gospels give story after story of how Jesus physically healed people and He continues to do medical miracles today. But as the account of the paralytic man in Luke 5 shows, Jesus did physical miracles to demonstrate his spiritual authority to forgive sins (Luke 5:23).  Physical healing is because of God’s grace, not His obligation.

This view also claims that Jesus’ work on the cross overcame “the curse of poverty,” not the curse of our sin and judgment (Gal. 3:1-14). Sounds like a different recipe for success than Paul’s perspective: “But if we have food and clothing, with these we will be content. But those who desire to be rich fall into temptation, into a snare, into many senseless and harmful desires that plunge people into ruin and destruction.  For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evils. It is through this craving that some have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many pangs.” (1 Tim. 6:7-10) The belief that God’s will is for us to be healthy and wealthy is little more than the gluttony for earthly ease. It’s tofu masquerading as meat.

 

The Distorted Diet of a Greedy Gospel

By far the most damaging and deceptive aspect of the tofu-talk in popular Christian media is that it peddles a false gospel. No matter how many books she writes, TV shows she produces or conferences she hosts, you’re not likely to hear a woman preach a prosperity gospel along with the biblical meaning of the cross of Christ. Why did Jesus have to die? And what are we saved from? Here’s how one female Prosperity Preacher would answer it: “It’s a wholeness package – it means your relationships are going to be fully functioning…your finances are going to be whole…your body is going to be full of health.” Total. Tofu.

What’s the real reason Jesus came to die? To reconcile sinners to God: “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, being justified freely by His grace through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus, whom God set forth as a propitiation by His blood, through faith.” (Rom. 3:23-25) Here it is again: “Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ.” (Rom 5:1). And just in case it wasn’t clearer, here it is again: “He made Him who knew no sin to be sin for us, that we might become the righteousness of God in Him.” (2 Cor. 5:21)

While God still heals people of physical problems and promises to provide for our needs, Jesus didn’t die on the cross to make us rich or pain-free. He died to be our substitute for God’s rightful wrath against our sin, the Righteous King for Unrighteous Us (Rom. 5:9, Col. 1:15-20, 1 Peter 3:18). God rescued us in Christ from the consequences of His own justice that we deserved. The false gospel of greed is a distorted diet of half-truths and empty hopes.

 

Feeding on the Truth

No matter how it’s dressed up and presented, the Prosperity Gospel is an imitation to true Christianity. 2 Peter 2:1-3 warns us, “But false prophets also arose among the people, just as there will be false teachers among you, who will secretly bring in destructive heresies, even denying the Master who bought them, bringing upon themselves swift destruction. And many will follow their sensuality, and because of them the way of truth will be blasphemed. And in their greed they will exploit you with false words…” Not only do you and I need to have discerning ears, we also have to see to it that no one takes us captive by philosophy and empty deceit (Col 2:18). None of us are above veering away from the faith. “But even if we or an angel from heaven should preach to you a gospel contrary to the one we preached to you, let him be accursed,” (Gal. 1:8). Turn off the Christian tofu-talk and dig into the meat of God’s Word.

 

Katie McCoy is the editor of BiblicalWoman.com and is pursuing a PhD in Systematic Theology at Southwestern Seminary. When she’s not reading for her classes (a rare occasion!), she loves hanging out with friends, eating sushi, learning new words and shopping with her mom. Connect with Katie on Facebook or Follow her Twitter!

 

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What Happy People Do Differently

Thursday, April 11, 2013 by Katie McCoy

I recently stumbled upon a list of the things happy people do differently. I was intrigued to hear their secret. Interestingly, it wasn’t the typical “self-help,” pep-talk kind of advice you might expect. In fact, it sounded more than a little familiar. Several of these secular secrets to happiness look a lot like the Creator’s blueprint for holiness. Maybe that’s because His commandments are not burdensome and His words really will bring joy to our hearts! (Ps. 19:8, 1 Jn 5:23) In fact, following Jesus is the secret to a happy life. So here it is: the happiness list – with a biblical twist!

Don’t hold grudges.

Unforgiveness saps our souls of strength. In fact, in Paul’s letter to the Corinthian believers, he actually connects unforgiveness with giving place to Satan’s schemes against our lives (2 Cor. 2:8-11). Matthew 6:14-15 says that whether or not we forgive others will prove whether we have really been forgiven. Not holding a grudge can be serious soul-work requiring regular maintenance. “We need to bear with each other, forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do” (Col. 3:13) Is there anyone in your life that you need to forgive? Is there something that gets your blood boiling just thinking about it? Choosing to forgive and release a grudge and leaving the judgment to God is a sure way to start experiencing a happier life!

Treat everyone with kindness.

Ephesians 4:32: And be kind and tenderhearted to each other. We might think being a strong person looks like giving others a “piece of our mind” when we’re snubbed or stepped on, but, 1 Peter 1:7 describes kindness is a sign of true maturity in Christ. Fashion comes and goes but kindness will never go out of style for a woman of God. (Prov. 19:22)

Express gratitude for what you already have.

God has some pretty strong words about longing for something that isn’t ours. Hebrews 13:5 says, “Let your conduct be without covetousness; be content with such things as you have. For He Himself has said, ‘”I will never leave you nor forsake you.’” Funny how God connects our tendency toward covetousness with the reality of His presence isn’t it? I think He wants us to be so rock-solid confident in the truth that, if he’s with us, we have and will have everything we truly need. Jesus warned us against being preoccupied with acquiring more and more things: “Take heed and beware of covetousness, for one’s life does not consist in the abundance of the things he possesses.” (Lk 12:15) When we quit spinning our wheels in pursuit of the next big thing, we’ll find a big puzzle piece of personal happiness fall into place.

Speak well of others.

Not only do our words have the power of life and death (Prov. 18:21), but also they often have a way of coming back to us! God makes a connection between what we speak and the state of our hearts. Ephesians 4:29 says, “Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers.”  Our words impart, or give, grace when they come from hearts that overflow with grace.

Get absorbed into the present.

It’s hard to live in the present when we focus on the past. We’ve all got a rear-view mirror that can keep us from moving forward when we’re stuck looking through it.  Living in the past robs us of the present. He wants us to live in the certainty of God’s forgiveness for the past, not live life looking though the rear-view mirror. 1 John 1:9 assures us that “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” A.W. Tozer once said, “God fully expects us not only to confess our sins but also to walk in the glow of God’s forgiveness.” With our past covered, and our present empowered, we can rest in the promise a secured future. Living in the present also means not being absorbed with the worries of tomorrow: “And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?” (Lk 12:25). Living in the present, with a forgiven past, and secured future, will definitely lead to a happier life.

Choose friends wisely.

“Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.” (Prov 27:17) It matters who our friends are. While we should always be cultivating relationships with people who need to know Jesus, your true friends are the people you identify with. First Corinthians 15:33 warns, “Do not be deceived: ‘Bad company ruins good morals.’” Our friends inevitably affect our life’s direction. “Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm.” (Prov. 13:20)

Meditate.

Scripture tells us to meditate upon the Word of God (Ps.119:15). Now I definitely don’t mean the kind of mediation that involves emptying your mind. Instead, we are to direct our thoughts to meditate on whatever is true, honorable, just, pure, lovely, commendable, excellent and praiseworthy. (Phil 4:8) Whatever we dwell on transforms us (2 Cor. 3:18). We are changed by what we focus on.

Tell the truth.

What a weight is lifted off of us when we simply tell the truth! Ephesians 4:25 says, “Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another.” Telling the truth means choosing to live as the new creations are we in Christ. “Do not lie to one another, seeing that you have put off the old self with its practices.” (Col. 3:9)

Live minimally.

Whether it’s the newest iPhone or yet another black dress, we probably all have items or spending habits that could be cut. 1 Timothy 6:6 tells us that godliness with contentment is great gain. Is there an area of life where the amount of time and money you have to invest in it is more draining than it’s worth? Living with greater simplicity keeps us detached from the fleeting stuff of the everyday world and attached to what will endure long after our own lives. It’s easier said than done – and very hard to remember when you walk by a good shoe sale, I know! But chances are, living minimally would help us zero in on the Lord, His Word, and other people. And that is definitely a great secret to a happy life!

Accept what cannot be changed.

There are some circumstances and people we’ll just never be able to change…a demanding boss, the consequences of a bad financial move, an uneasily pleased mother-in-law. But we have a promise that, if we really believe it for what it says, will change our focus on all of those frustrations. And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose” (Rom. 8:28) Do you realize that when God said that, He knew every situation that you’d be needing that promise for? It may not be that He works all things together quickly or easily, and in His mercy, He may allow us endure the effects of negative things that have happened. But thing is absolutely for sure: He will work it out for good –for your good!

Of course, none of these things can be lived out apart from being reconciled to God through faith in Jesus Christ (Rom. 5:1, 8:13). The truly happy life is the life full of His unshakable joy, a joy that comes from knowing we have peace with God through Jesus’ substituted life, death, and resurrection on our behalf. He wants you to live in the freedom of truth and integrity. Knowing and following Jesus is the secret to a truly happy life.

Katie McCoy is the editor of BiblicalWoman.com and is pursuing a PhD in Systematic Theology at Southwestern Seminary. When she’s not reading for her classes (a rare occasion!), she loves hanging out with friends, eating sushi, learning new words and shopping with her mom. Connect with Katie on Facebook or Follow her Twitter!

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Move Over, Martha Stewart! An Interview with the Editors of “The Christian Homemaker’s Handbook”

Tuesday, April 2, 2013 by Katie McCoy

Move over, Martha Stewart, there’s a new “good thing” in town! Last month marked the release of the highly anticipated go-to resource, The Christian Homemaker’s Handbook. Covering everything from parenting and money-management to nutrition and working from home, this 40-chapter volume is designed to motivate and mentor today’s woman in modern challenges of nurturing her home and family. Featuring over 20 authors, contributors range from single young adult to seasoned professional woman, both single and married, and wives with and without children. For many women, the term “homemaker” invokes visions of a June Cleaver vacuuming in pearls. But with relevant topics like using your kitchen to serve others, cultivating family worship, and caring for aging parents, the Handbook challenges readers to check their preconceived notions about homemaking at the door.

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Lifetime and Your “Preacher’s Daughter”

Thursday, March 14, 2013 by Katie McCoy

“I think preacher’s kids are a lot more wild than regular kids.  I’ve met preachers kids that are worse than some of the kids who don’t even go to church,” says Kolby (16), one of the three teenage girls featured in Lifetime Network’s latest project, Preacher’s Daughter.* The show’s March 12^th debut introduced viewers to “what happens at home after the sermon,” giving an up-close look at three pastor’s families, particularly the relationship between the girls and their fathers. While the innocent Kolby navigates the new world of dating, Taylor (17) pushes the envelope of her independence with comments like her desire to be a porn star because of all the attention she would get. Meanwhile, there’s the tenderhearted Olivia (18), a teen mom whose wild side caught up with her last summer.

Despite the TV trend of absent or abdicating dads, Preacher’s Daughter shows three fathers who are involved, protective, and loving toward their daughters. Kolby’s father, lovingly hears out her request for greater independence and ensures his daughter that he’ll protect her from any young man who would try to cross the line. “It doesn’t matter how fast he can run, I can still catch him.” (Gotta love it!) Taylor’s dad admits that he’s made a lot of mistakes with his other children, something he wants to remedy for his spirited 17-year-old without pushing her even further away (What parent can’t relate?) And after his daughter was pregnant, Olivia’s father influenced her to keep her baby and gave her a promise ring, symbolizing her forgiveness and restoration. When Olivia further confessed to lying about some of her wrong choices, he and his wife responded with tears of heartbreak rather than shouts of anger. After Episode 1, “Two Thumbs Up” to Lifetime for finding pastors’ families who seem legit.

But despite the character of their respective fathers, their daughters’ rebellion (or its consequences) seems to be the focus of the show. As Preacher’s Daughter highlights, it isn’t easy being a pastor’s daughter. While she won’t have a reality TV crew following her around, chances are the pastor’s daughter in your church can relate to some of the frustrations that the show reveals. As a former Preacher’s Daughter (and since they didn’t call me to be on the show!), here’s how you can invest in and encourage the Preacher’s Daughter in your church.

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Is Dot.Com Dating the Right Match for You?

Tuesday, February 12, 2013 by Katie McCoy

Is it just me, or are online dating sites for Christians everywhere these days? And it’s not just eHarmony and Match.com – there’s ChristianSingles.com, SingleChristian.com, and most recently, ChristianMingle.com. Maybe you’ve heard their commercials: Sometimes we wait for God to make the next move, when God is saying, “It’s Your time to act – the next move is yours!” Find God’s Match for you at ChristianMingle.com!

Am I really still single because God is waiting on me to make the next move? And is that next move really online dating? In my need to discover the truth, this single female Christian checked out the Dot.Com Dating scene. That’s right, in a moment of bold investigative journalism, I signed up on a Christian dating site. And between you and me, the process was – shall we say – less than substantive. Aside from asking me what kind of church I attend or how often I pray, this soul-mate service wanted to know my height, eye color, hair color, and body type (options included “washboard,” “average” and “I should maybe lose a few.”) Not exactly the focus on inner-beauty I was hoping to find. Another site asked me to declare who was first in my life. My choices were work, family, myself, or Jesus. (What narcissist would I have been matched up with had I answered, “myself?” Would we end up fighting over the mirror?) Besides a few religiously based queries, I may as well have been signing up on any other dating site.

If you’re into the online dating scene, please know I’m not here to bash. I completely understand the reasoning. You’re frustrated by the lack of options. You’re fed up with waiting for something to change. And you’re fearful at the prospect of yet another Valentine’s season being jokingly, but oh so painfully, known as Single’s Awareness Day. What if happiness or love – or even hope – really is just a few preliminary questions and a click away? But I have to wonder:

Is Dot.Com Dating really the Best Match for You?

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Ready…Set…Wait! Trusting God in Your Waiting Season

Thursday, January 17, 2013 by Katie McCoy

When I was about 8 years old, my family had a bunch of people over for a pool party. I was so excited to jump in with the crowd until my parents told me that since I’d just gotten over being sick, I’d have to sit this party out. (Between the colds and earaches we got to know the pediatrician’s office pretty well). I was disappointed to say the least. I had my very fashionable goggles and was ready to go, only to find out that “for my good” I would have to sit on the sidelines…by myself…when everyone else was having a party. To my eight-year-old social life, this was devastating. All the people were there, the pool was right there – all I had to do was jump in! I was supremely bummed.

But later, as I was sulking on the porch, my parents surprised me with the reason for the restriction: In just a few days I’d be getting on a plane and traveling 3,000 miles to see my favorite childhood friends. My little 3^rd grade heart was elated! All of sudden I didn’t feel so left out. Another sniffling nose or earache would have made for a rather miserable trip. When I realized that what seemed like a joy-stealing restriction was actually a preparation. Once I realized what was coming, I didn’t mind temporarily sitting off to the side.

While the days of pool parties may have passed, there are still times when it seems like I’m sitting on the sidelines, waiting for some divine revelation to make sense of all the “why’s.” Maybe you’ve been there too, asking God, Where do I go from here? What’s the next step? or Is this ever going to change?

Sometimes we feel stuck waiting for the answer. Or, perhaps we’ve convinced ourselves that we have the answer, but God doesn’t seem to be on the same page. The solution is seemingly right there – you could just jump in! But, for whatever reason, you’ve been given what seems like a joy-stealing restriction or another closed door and you’re left wondering whether God really is the caring, involved Father that He says He is.

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