U R Known by What U Search 4

Thursday, May 3, 2012 by Katie McCoy

 I was sure that I’d been hacked. There was no way that could have appeared on my Facebook page…and consequently on several hundred other people’s news feeds. But somehow, through the all-knowing Google Search which connected to an unknowingly employed Yahoo Reader App, which connected to my social life on a webpage a.k.a. Facebook, the entire scope of my acquaintances could see that I had been searching for the best (a-hem) undergarments for women of my (a-hem) proportions. Since when did researching the right women’s intimates become a newsworthy item to be shared online, you ask? Since everything from the articles we read to the music we hear became integrated into one identity-expressing website. The only thing that hacked my Facebook was my own stupidity.

Apps like Yahoo Reader aren’t the only signs of social streamlining. Have you noticed those ads on the side of your Facebook page? They’re tailored to fit your interests, tastes, and even whatever search terms you have Googled. Why? Because sites like Facebook testify to a truth that even an unbelieving world already knows:

We are known by what we’re searching for.

What We’re Searching For Reveals our Disposition

It might sound like a word out of a Jane Austen novel, but “disposition” refers to an inclination or a tendency. Scripture directly links whether or not our hearts are inclined toward God to our obedience. “But they did not obey or incline their ear, but walked in their own counsels and the stubbornness of their evil hearts, and went backward and not forward” (Jer. 7:24, also check out Josh. 24:23 and 1 Kgs. 8:57-58).  The Psalmist prayed, “Incline my heart to your testimonies…” (Ps. 119:36) What is your disposition toward the heart of God? Does obedience seem like a burden or do you find joy in living a life set-apart for Christ? (1 Jn. 5:3, 1 Pet. 3:15)

The true disposition of our hearts is whatever we have inclined them towards.

So how do we cultivate a disposition that is inclined toward and seeks after God? We start by pursuing spiritual disciplines like prayer, studying the Word, fasting, confession and being in Christian community with other believers. If you’re looking for a helpful kick-start on how to develop a lifestyle that’s inclined toward God, check out Celebration of Discipline by Richard Foster and focus on two disciplines each month. You’ll be amazed at how your disposition toward the things of God will increase!

What We’re Searching For Reveals Our Desires

Scripture tells us that we ultimately follow after whatever we desire (2 Pt 3:3, Jude 1:16) We’re told to walk by the Spirit so that we won’t gratify the desires of the flesh, “For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do.” (Gal. 5:16-17).

We search for the things that our hearts desire, and those desires inevitably determine our deeds. Be careful not to get these switched around! We can’t change our inner desires with our outward deeds. It’s actually the other way around. We won’t overcome those bad habits, destructive patterns and besetting sins until we’ve been given new desires (Ez. 36:26, Phil. 2:13)

And when our disposition is inclined toward God, our desires begin to reflect His. (Ps. 37:4).

What is the desire of your heart today? Have you been longing for something that seems destined to remain unfulfilled? What have you been searching for that your good and loving Father would have you let go of and trust to His care? Psalm 145 promises that “He fulfills the desire of those who fear him.” (v. 19) Will you trust that He satisfies the desire of every living thing – including you? (v 16). Until our desires are rooted in and ruled by Christ, we’ll always be searching for that next thing.

What We’re Searching For Reveals Our Direction

It’s impossible to arrive at a destination without first going in its direction. Psalm 119 shows the connection between what you are searching for and your life’s aim. “Blessed are those who keep his testimonies, who seek him with their whole heart, who also do no wrong, but walk in his ways!…When I think on my ways, I turn my feet to your testimonies.” (vv. 2-3, 59)

Have you stopped to consider where your life is aiming?  I don’t mean big decisions like a job or an education or a spouse, as life-changing as those decisions are. If you zoomed out on your life to see what you are searching for, where are you headed? Are you headed for the snare that accompanies the approval-loving fear of man? (Prov. 29:25) Is your aim set for the ruin and destruction awaiting those that desire wealth? (1 Tim. 6:9) Are you targeting the harm and corruption that comes with foolish and ungodly company? (Prov. 13:20, 1 Cor. 15:33) Or, are you searching for the life that is gained by daily taking up your cross to follow Christ? (Lk. 9:23:24)

When our disposition and our desires are pursuing God’s presence, our direction will follow His.

He promises: “I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my eye upon you.” (Ps. 32:8) Psalm 105:4 tells us to “Seek the LORD and his strength; seek his presence continually!” Are you aiming for God’s presence where you’ll find “fullness of joy” (Ps. 16:11), or are you searching for an empty substitute? If you’re wondering which direction you’re life is going, just take a step back to see what you’ve been searching for.

What We’re Searching For – Can Change!

So what do we do when our dispositions, desires and directions need to be re-focused? Our restoration begins with a change in what we’re searching for. “Seek the Lord while he may be found; call upon him while he is near; let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts; let him return to the Lord, that he may have compassion on him, and to our God, for he will abundantly pardon.” (Is. 55:6-7)

The incredible promise of the gospel is that no matter how far off course we’ve gotten, we can incline our hearts to the Lord because He first inclined His heart to us (Eph. 2:1-10). God tells us to seek Him because He wants us to find Him. “I did not speak in secret, in a land of darkness; I did not say to the offspring of Jacob, ‘Seek me in vain.’” (Is. 45:19) Deuteronomy 4:29 promises that if you seek the Lord you will find Him, “if you search after him with all your heart and with all your soul.”

He is still the Rewarder of those who seek Him. (Heb. 11:6)  He is still the Generous Father who gives to those who ask Him. (Matt. 7:7-11)

So the next time you go to “Google it,” or see a column of interest-specific Facebook ads, or perhaps have one of your top-ten most embarrassing moments posted for all to see, let it remind you of this one aim-altering truth – you are known by what you search for.

“Now set your mind and heart to seek the LORD your God.”

1 Chronicles 22:19

 

Katie McCoy is pursuing a Doctorate in Systematic Theology at Southwestern Seminary. When she’s not studying for her classes (a rare occasion!), she loves hanging out with friends, eating sushi, learning new words and is currently a political news junkie. Connect with Katie on Facebook or Followher Twitter!

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Set-Apart in a “Sex is Power” World

Thursday, April 19, 2012 by Katie McCoy

At the end of the 30-second commercial I wasn’t sure whether I should be laughing or blushing! As the on-screen ladies witnessed the dramatic duels of flying samurais and jousting knights, I heard: It’s the cradle of life. It’s the center of civilization. Men have fought for it, even died for it. One might say it’s the most powerful thing on earth…Hail to the V! (Yep…that “V”) Maybe the theatrical marketing campaign of this popular feminine product wanted to reinvent their image. Perhaps they wanted their female consumers to feel pride in their product instead of the typical embarrassment of praying they don’t see anyone they know in the store and avoiding eye contact in the check-out line. Whatever the commercial intended to convey about the actual item, its message was clear: female sexuality is power.

The slogan isn’t alone in the recent slate of girl-power mantras. Last summer, über-celebrity Beyonce Knowles debuted the female-empowered anthem, “Girls Who Run the World.” The international hit single sent women across the globe chanting, “Who runs the world? Girls!” while she hypnotically droned, “My persuasion can build a nation, Endless power, the love we can devour, You’ll do anything for me.” For Beyonce, female sexuality is power.

While such eyebrow-raising media may seem to be just latest attempts in pushing the cultural envelope and challenging social norms, what they promote is not just a product, but a philosophy; not just a lyric, but a lifestyle. And, more often than not, we’re unaware of just how inundated with its messages we have become.

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My Shopping Addiction

Thursday, March 29, 2012 by Katie McCoy

Hi. My name is Katie and I’m a shopaholic. It’s been 12 days since I last used my store card.

It all started so innocently, really. “Would you like to save an additional 15 percent today? You know the more you spend with us, the more you’ll save!” After years of avoiding credit cards, I ever so gradually flirted with the idea of my first store card to my favorite retailer and, two months ago, finally signed up. At first, it was pure bliss – buy now, pay later, qualify for discounts, accumulate rewards. In fact, the bliss had become a regular habit. Need to chill out? Go bum around my favorite stores. Just finished a tough week? Maybe there’s a sale going on. But sometimes my reasons for shopping weren’t always so leisurely. Feeling stressed out, discouraged or depressed? A new sweater would make me feel better! Feeling dissatisfied or alone? Maybe a necklace to go with it, too! And then I got the monthly statement…and it was clearly time to re-evaluate my relationship with shopping.

Millions of women are addicted to what is known as compulsive shopping. Compulsive shopping is “a pattern of chronic, repetitive purchasing that becomes difficult to stop and ultimately results in harmful consequences.” One study found that compulsive shopping is more common among women than men. Just this morning, The Today Show featured a mother whose shopping addiction has her teenage daughter concerned about losing their home. Compared to other addictions, shopping is a seemingly respectable habit and often goes under the radar in our lives. If you’re mentally running through your receipts right about now, wondering if you might have a shopping situation of your own, consider some of these overspending-signs:

-       Do you feel a rush of anxiety and excitement when you spend money?

-       Do you shop as a pick-me-up when you’re feeling down?

-       Do you buy things you don’t need or have multiple items that you’ve never worn?

-       Do you spend an excessive amount of time shopping in stores, shopping online, or thinking about shopping, perhaps at the expense of your other responsibilities?

-       Do you feel a sense of guilt, embarrassment or confusion after you’ve spent money?

-       Do you conceal your purchases from your husband, family and friends?

-       Do you spend more than what you’d planned to or have to return things after realizing you can’t afford them?

In her book, When Spending Takes the Place of Feeling, Karen O’Conner explains that “[Compulsive shopping] is a serious addiction for millions of women, every bit as serious as drug, alcohol, or food use.” She also describes some of the deeper reasons that drive women’s out-of-control shopping. For some women, shopping brings a sense of excitement. The temporary thrill we get from the swipe of our credit cards is a euphoric high. For other women, shopping lifts their emotions. Who hasn’t felt better by a trip to the mall after a tough day? And for some women, shopping masks a greater pain. It gives a fleeting fulfillment for those from emotionally distant homes. Or perhaps it provides a sense of self-worth by believing that they will be loved if they spend money on others.

Whatever the underlying reason, millions of women are shopping for fulfillment.

While chronic overspending and credit card debt are certainly manifestations of a shopping problem, they are merely symptoms of the cause. The solution to over-shopping isn’t in better financial planning, and a “Just Say ‘No’ to Sales” approach. In fact, you could stick to the most money-savvy, Dave Ramsey-approved budget and still have a shopping addiction. Or you could use just a petite-sized sliver of your financial pie on personal spending, maybe even completely denying yourself of everything but the basics, and still not solve the problem. Why?

Because the core of our shopping addiction isn’t about our money-management, it’s about our hearts.

You’re probably familiar with Jesus’ “Sermon on the Mount” (Matt 5-7).  Throughout Jesus’ message, He cuts straight to the motive of our hearts. And His words about money do just that! He warns us not to “lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” (6:19-21) He also gives another sobering warning about money, “No one can serve two masters, for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and money.” (v. 24).

 

But sandwiched in between these verses are these curious words: “The eye is the lamp of the body. So, if your eye is healthy, your whole body will be full of light, but if your eye is bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light in you is darkness, how great is the darkness!” (vv. 22-24) Perhaps you, like me, were wondering what eyes, lamps and darkness have to do with you and your shopping issues, almost as though Jesus got off-topic. But instead, He is cutting to the core of every issue with shopping and spending that you and I will ever face. The main issue isn’t about whether we have money, or how much we have, or what we spend it on. The deeper issue involves the perspective with which you and I view money, and how our devotion determines our direction. Our perspective is determined by where our eyes are fixed. And where our eyes are fixed, our hearts will follow.

The amount that we spend on things isn’t the primary measure of our hearts, but the affection that we give to those things is.

Our hearts are constantly being tugged toward the lure of the temporal, whether we’re spending $10 or $10,000. Before we ever had a problem with where our money went, we already had a problem with where our eye went. If shopping, thinking about shopping, or the next thing you want to shop for becomes the focus of our hearts and the source of our joy, we’ve set our eyes in the wrong direction and are enslaved to our own skewed perspectives.

There’s a lot of good advice out there on overcoming compulsive spending. Cutting up the credit cards, leaving your wallet at home when you shop and joining a twelve-step program can all be helpful decisions. But, as Jesus’ words teach us, controlling our circumstances still won’t change our hearts. So how do we break the cycle of addiction that keeps our shopping habit from going out of business? Here are a few places to start:

-       Exchange it. We need a different kind of transaction to take place in our lives. That starts by acknowledging our shopping addiction for what it is – loving material things, giving in to our impulses and appetites and our attempting to satisfy a need apart from God. In exchange, God gives us His empowering grace to break the cycle of addiction.

-   Get a personal consultation. Ask the Lord to reveal your heart and the motives behind why you shop. Perhaps you would benefit from the help of a Christian counselor to get to the core of your overspending habits.

-       You can’t have just one. Don’t try to go solo or willpower your way to breaking a habit. Open up your life to godly accountability. On your next shopping trip, bring a trusted friend with you who will help you keep from purchasing more than you’d planned. Invite someone to ask you about the time you spend shopping online and consider staying off store websites for a while.

-       Return it. What do you have in your house right now that you could give away to someone else? (I can think of a few things myself!) Not only does giving away things help us simplify our lives, it also helps to free us from the anxiety that often comes with acquiring more and more things. (For more on this topic check out “The Discipline of Simplicity,” in the book Celebration of Discipline by Richard Foster.)

-       Play Dress-Up. This is fun one! Find some friends who are willing to contribute items from their closets and trade your clothes and accessories for a month at a time. You’ll get the variety of wearing different things. But even more, you’ll have to entrust your own things to others. Should something come back a little worse for wear, you’ll be reminded that it’s just stuff after all!

While I may be a recovering shopaholic, the more I confront it the more God frees me of from shopping for fulfillment. There are days when I’d rather spend an hour browsing online rather than face the discouraging mass of reading yet to be finished.  I’m realizing that the thrill of the “new” wears off as I wear it out the door, and doesn’t take away feelings of loneliness. And as much of a fun escape as it might feel in the moment, spending the day at the mall won’t fix the worry I feel when I don’t trust God with my circumstances.

It isn’t easy to confront why we do what we do. But it is the start to a whole new way perspective. The price for our freedom from compulsive shopping has already been paid. (2 Cor 5:21) And we can’t max out on the grace that we need to overcome our addictions.  Christ has provided all the fulfillment we could ever need. (Col. 2:10) We don’t need to shop for it.

Katie McCoy is pursuing a Doctorate in Systematic Theology at Southwestern Seminary. When she’s not studying for her classes (a rare occasion!), she loves hanging out with friends, eating sushi, learning new words and is currently a political news junkie. Connect with Katie on Facebook or Follow her on Twitter!

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Why I Broke Up With “The Bachelor”

Thursday, March 15, 2012 by Katie McCoy

Take a stroll through any grocery store checkout lane and you’ll see an array of scintillating headlines testifying to that American female obsession popularly known as The Bachelor and The Bachelorette. While the names and faces change with each season, our vicarious interest is unfailingly piqued by the drama, the dates, the drama, the romance, the drama and the catfights (and did I mention the drama?).  Truth be told, I’ve been more than a little engrossed in The Bachelor/Bachelorette seasons past. Creative justifications for the reality TV addiction included “research” and “sociological observation” (Feel free to roll your eyes!). In fact, the series is ever popular among Christian women whether single, married, a teen or a forty-something.

This season, however, tempted though I was to see last year’s Ben Flajnik find “true love” in a matter of weeks, I had to pass. And following the stories of tears and tell-all’s from Monday’s season finale and hearing Barbara Walters call the show “a degradation to women,” I was reminded why. Aside from the painfully unrealistic view of love and the portrayal of marriage as having all the seriousness of a Disney princess wedding, TV shows like the Bachelor/Bachelorette have done more harm than good in my pursuit of Christ. The series might as well have come with a disclaimer like: “Sustained consumption of this broadcast is likely to cause distance from reality, distorted perspective of romance, discontent with your singleness, disillusion with God’s will, and disenchantment with your life in general.” It was time for a break up!

Shows like Bachelor/Bachelorette aren’t alone. Today’s TV line-up is a smorgasbord of guilty pleasures and escapes: Jersey Shore, Desperate Housewives, Smash, The Secret Life of the American Teenager, anything to do with vampires…take your pick! But for many of us, it’s those little, guilty pleasures that, over time, can turn our hearts away from our soul’s Highest and Holy Pleasure without even realizing it.  It is not my point or my place to judge anyone who watches these shows.

But I hope that the next time you reach for the remote you will take a moment to ask yourself the same question I started asking myself:  “Is it worth it?”

- Is it worth the discontentment and disrespect you might feel toward your less-than-wildly-romantic-but-godly-husband, whose entrance at the end of the day doesn’t come with a sweeping soundtrack playing in the background? (Eph. 5:22-33)

- Is it worth the numbing complacency that comes from hearing vulgar speech and peering into the hook-up culture of casual sex? (1 Thess. 4:3-8)

- Is it worth the distorted view of godliness that makes the illicit seem exciting and holiness seem…well…kinda boring? (1 Pet. 1:13-16, Ps. 16:11)

- Is it worth the hindrance it can be to following Christ? Sure, it may be on network television, and on prime time at that, but does it keep you from presenting yourself to God as an instrument of righteousness? (Rom. 6:13)

- Is it worth the subtle temptation to approve and even glorify (hold up/consider valuable) choices or views that offend God and destroy us, at the expense of glorifying Christ? (Dt. 6:5, Lk 9:23, 1 Pet. 3:15) If it causes Jesus to be less attractive to you and if it dulls your drive to follow Him, it’s probably time to turn it off. For me, it’s The Bachelor/Bachelorette. For you, it’s probably that one show that keeps coming to mind!

We want to hear from you! What are your criteria for deciding whether or not it’s “worth it”? What’s your strategy for evaluating what you watch?

(For more on this thought-provoking topic, check out Melissa Meredith’s convicting article, “Fighting for Eden.”)

Katie McCoy is pursuing a Doctorate in Systematic Theology at Southwestern Seminary. When she’s not studying for her classes (a rare occasion!), she loves hanging out with friends, eating sushi, learning new words and is currently a political news junkie. Connect with Katie on Facebook or Follow her Twitter!

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Where’d You Get Those Shoes?!?

Tuesday, March 6, 2012 by Katie McCoy

We women are subtle creatures.  We communicate entire paragraphs with a glare and furrowed brow. But the funny thing about mastering the art-of-the-subtle is that we can go a long time without ever having to confront what’s below the surface and truly in our hearts. Yes we women are often sophisticatedly subtle and we’re equally sophisticated in our subtle expressions of what God quite simply calls “pride.” In my life, it seems like there are as many subtle variations of personal pride as there are shoes in my closet – a different shoe for a different occasion, some that I’ve so worn out that they’ve conformed to my foot, other that never fail to cause blisters but I just can’t bring myself to get rid of them. Since James 4:6 says that God is opposing the proud, but gives grace to the humble, we all could use a good cleaning out of spiritual shoes.

Consider these less-than-flattering footwear:

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Debunking “The Purity Myth”

Thursday, February 16, 2012 by Katie McCoy

“There is a moral panic in America over young women’s sexuality and it’s been breathing new life into a very old idea,” claims Jessica Valenti, founder of Feministing.com and author of The Purity Myth: How America’s Obsession with Virginity is Hurting Young Women. Dubbed the “poster-girl for third-wave feminism,” Valenti claims that today’s abstinence-only movement tells a woman that her value is based solely on what she does (or doesn’t do) with her sexuality – to the point of ignoring her character, intelligence, and integrity. As a result, the so-called “purity-pushers” are actually harming a generation of young women, making them even more sexualized due to the emphasis on virginity/abstinence as “the measure of a woman’s character.”

While Valenti’s views may seem like the kind of rhetoric you’d hear in hyper-political arenas, the message may be coming to a high school or college campus near you. The Purity Myth was recently adapted to a 45-minute documentary by the Media Education Foundation, a company that “produces and distributes documentary films and other educational resources to inspire critical thinking about the social, political, and cultural impact of American mass media,” and specifically targeted to students in the classroom. The Purity Myth is being marketed to educational institutions, both secular and religious, with screenings and discussions about “the virginity movement’s war against women” taking place nationwide.

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Please…Let Me Know!

Thursday, February 9, 2012 by Katie McCoy

Please Let Me Know Your Ways

It was the heart cry of a lonely leader faced with a frustratingly familiar scene, surrounded by the volatile voices of an unbelieving nation. This biblical hero with whom the Lord spoke “face to face, as a man speaks to his friend,” (Ex. 33:11) had one audacious request: “Now therefore, if I have found favor in your sight, please show me now your ways, that I may know you in order to find favor in your sight….Please show me Your glory.” (Ex. 33:13, 18)

It seems odd that a man like Moses, who had seen the Lord’s epic works, would feel the need to ask the Lord to reveal His ways. I mean, this man heard God speak through a wasteland bush, saw His miraculous provision at the Red Sea, and followed Him to lead His people out of a tyrant’s grip carrying nothing but a walking stick.

Moses had known the Lord’s works – but he did not yet know the Lord’s ways.

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