What Story Will Your Marriage Tell?

Tuesday, May 21, 2013 by Cheryl Bell

My parents are moving to Texas.  He is 87 and she is 88.  They have taken care of each other for a lifetime and when she gently told him that she needed our help, the issue was settled.

I cannot imagine how difficult this change must be for him – leaving all that has been so familiar and comfortable. And yet, because of his great love for her, the decision is made – without hesitation, without complaint, without regret. He is still taking care of her.

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Walking the Tightrope: Thinking Critically Without Being Critical

Thursday, April 18, 2013 by Cheryl Bell

One of the challenges of ministering to others is dealing with what we know about them.  Fellow believers come to us with hurts and sorrows and we end up knowing more than we ever thought we would.  They entrust us with their lives and we become fellow burden bearers.

As a part of this ministry, we are called to be spiritually discerning as we think and pray about the information they have entrusted to us.  Often, God gives us insights from His Word and then by His Spirit, calls us to speak those truths into their lives.

If we are not on guard, our sinful nature will tempt us to use this information wrongly.

• We may use it as a standard of comparison and let ourselves off the hook.
• We may use it in a manner that wounds the one who has entrusted it to us.
• We may become overwhelmed with their burdens and lose sight of the fact that God has the situation under control.
• We may think that we are the solution to their problem and think of ourselves more highly than we should.

Even if we do not fall into one of these areas of sin, we will probably struggle with the temptation to be critical based on what we know.

As we face the challenge of thinking critically for the sake of the gospel, we must reject the temptation to adopt a critical spirit.

How then are we to think about what we know?

What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who is against us? He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him over for us all, how will He not also with Him freely give us all things? Who will bring a charge against God’s elect? God is the one who justifies; who is the one who condemns? Christ Jesus is He who died, yes, rather who was raised, who is at the right hand of God, who also intercedes for us.  (Rom. 8:31-34)

These verses are very encouraging when we apply them to ourselves but quite convicting when God applies them to those we criticize. Take a moment to think of a person toward whom you have been critical.  Re-read the Romans passage placing their name in the place of every underlined word.

Suddenly it becomes clear that we may have enjoyed the grace that God extends to us but
not graciously extended it to others.

At this point, we need to ask ourselves some hard questions:

• If God is for them, how can we be against them?
• If God was willing to sacrifice His own dear Son for them, why can’t we die to ourselves for their sake?
• If God has justified them who are we to condemn them?

Christ Jesus, the one who is intimately acquainted with every sin they have committed, is the only man who could condemn. Instead He intercedes for them. How can we do anything less?

In ministry, we know what we know so that we may intercede.

1. List the names of those who you are tempted to criticize and add these names to your prayer list as those for whom you will faithfully intercede.
2. You are still responsible to confront or encourage, but may now do so without the critical spirit.
3. Yield yourself to God for the gentling of your spirit by His.

But we proved to be gentle among you, as a nursing mother tenderly cares for her own children. Having so fond an affection for you, we were well-pleased to impart to you not only the gospel of God but also our own lives, because you had become very dear to us. (I Thess. 2:7-8)

 

Cheryl is a homeschooling mother of four who loves having a “front row” seat in watching The Lord transform women’s lives. Trained as a nurse, Cheryl is now pursuing a Doctorate in Biblical Counseling at Southwestern Seminary. She also serves at Southwestern’s Baptist Marriage and Family Counseling Center. You can contact Cheryl at cbell@swbts.edu and find more information about Southwestern’s Counseling Center athttp://www.swbts.edu/counselingcenter.

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The Real Issue Behind Our Words

Thursday, March 21, 2013 by Cheryl Bell

By the time my first child reached the age of two, I was desperate!  My strong-willed daughter needed little sleep, and God was using the stress of exhaustion to expose my heart.  He already knew what was there, but I was clueless.  I was shocked by what He uncovered.  A kind friend invited me to her Bible study and I went, determined to solve my problem!

As the teacher spoke God’s words to us (not the principles, not the stories, not the ideas, but the actual words), they did their work of purification and cleansing in my heart.  God’s Spirit used Scripture to identify lie after lie that I had believed and began the transformation that I so desperately needed (Heb 4:12).

One day as we discussed the Scripture, my teacher suddenly looked directly at me and rebuked me. “Cheryl, I do not care what you think. What does God’s Word say and where do you find it?”  I was shocked into speechlessness, but the truth of her words created in me a passionate desire to always be able to answer that question, both for my sake and for the sake of others.

More recently, God has again confronted me about my words.  As a daughter, wife, mother, sister, friend, counselor, student, and teacher, my life touches many others.  The Lord has simply asked me to evaluate my words when I do speak to make sure they come from Him.

I am asking you to join me in this process.

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The Gift of Pressure: How God Reveals Our Hearts

Tuesday, February 26, 2013 by Cheryl Bell

I can just hear the women as they bundled babies, chased children, and repeatedly packed and unpacked belongings with each move.  It was after all the wilderness and any complaints were surely justified – just consider the circumstances which God had led them into!  No food, no water – what did He expect from them?  Not even a a woman can create something out of nothing!

In the midst of their murmuring and complaining (Ex 6:8) they were not able to see God at work and the one year turned into forty.  It was a lifetime!  They and all of those around them ate the fruit of their lips – and it was not a pleasant way to fill bellies (Prov 18:20).

It was such a waste of suffering!

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Loving God by Caring for Our Bodies

Tuesday, January 29, 2013 by Cheryl Bell

As I made the long climb up the steps with my fellow exercisers, we greeted each other as we had for so many mornings.  It was 6:20 am and the sun wasn’t entirely up but we were!  As we hauled weights and mats to our meeting place, one member of our groups posed a question:  “Do you suppose that when we get to heaven, we will discover that God’s ideal is slightly plump?”  We laughed but didn’t even pause.  After spending three years’ worth of mornings working out with the different but “perfectly” shaped women on various DVDs, we were determined to continue what we had begun!

We have entered a new year and it seems everyone is setting goals for healthy eating and exercise. But there’s one valuable exercise which we could add to our new or existing routines – an examination of God’s Word and His perspective on our physical bodies.

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When You Feel Like God Offended You

Tuesday, August 28, 2012 by Cheryl Bell

Have you ever felt as though God let you down?

Have you ever blamed Him for a situation or circumstance that He allowed in your life?

Have you ever been offended by God?

We, the Offended, began our spiritual journeys much like every other believer.  We heard God’s Word as it addressed our souls with the promise of a sweet and intimate relationship with our Savior.  And so we entered in with joy, but not fully understanding what lay ahead.  Our shallow roots never plumbed the depths of faith to find the richness that is in both blessing and in adversity.  When the pressure, tribulation, and persecution that attend a life with God and His Word came, we fell away.

While the Parable of the Sower in Matthew 13 ultimately describes one’s eternity, we as believers are able to read this text and yield to God’s Sprit as He points out the particular type of unbelief that has carried our hearts away from God.

This story tells our story. “Hear then the parable of the sower.The one on whom seed was sown on the rocky places, this is the man who hears the word and immediately receives it with joy; yet he has no firm root in himself, but is only temporary, and when affliction or persecution arises because of the word, immediately he falls away.” (Matt 13:18, 20-21)

The unfaithfulness illustrated in this text is a picture of our hearts – hearts that loved the truth of God until the hard times came, and then fixed themselves on earthly things, hearts that reinterpreted His character to fit personal experience.  We found that this God was not to our liking and left Him.  Our minds are able to recall the offense and the decision to withdraw our trust.

God unveils our souls for us in the very language He uses in this parable. The Greek word skandalizo to describes the response of one who has fallen away because of shallow roots.  Though variously translated in English, the King James Version’s rendering of this word pierces my heart.  It rightly accuses me of being offended by God, of doubting, turning against, and abandoning the One who is worthy of my full trust and unreserved obedience.  It exposes my tendency to practice conditional love – a love that constantly reevaluates and reprioritizes my relationship with Him based on what He allows in my life.

My personal journey from offense to reconciliation has taken me through the pages of God’s Word where I have seen myself again and again.  With the Pharisees I have been offended that God would not accept outward conformity and instead insisted on a transformed heart (Matt 15:10-12).  With the disciples I have been offended by things I could not understand (Jn 6:48-61).  And with successive disillusionments, I have exhibited the behavior that is always associated with an offended heart – grumbling and complaining.  I might have called it righteous indignation, but God did not agree (Jn 6:61 and Luke 5:30).

Desperate and exhausted, I cried out to God for relief and He seated me at the feet of a godly older woman who spoke His Word into my heart.  This began my journey back to Him.  I was able to discern lie after lie that I had believed, and yielded them to Him in confession and repentance, accepting His thoughts as truth and discarding mine as deception (Ps 119:130, Is 55:8).  One of these lies was the false belief that I had the power and wisdom to take care of myself.  Because I believed that God had failed to protect me from hurt in this life I committed my eternity to Him but reserved the right to do whatever I thought was necessary to protect myself until then.

God’s Spirit, though grieved by the sins of my tongue, was no longer a distant stranger (Eph 4:30). And within the pages of His Word,  I discovered that He had truly given me everything I needed, including the truth about real tribulation and persecution (Jn 16:1).  My offence faded into insignificance.

With a spirit of exultation, I have realized that the Word of my salvation – which had also been the source of my offence – has become the agent by which I was reconciled to Him.  The Psalmist described this process in Psalm 107:20 when he wrote of God’s dealings with the rebellious children of Israel.

He sent His word and healed them,

And delivered them from their destructions. (Ps 107:20)

Since He is a God who never changes, this is my story as well. Repentance has produced reconciliation.  The sweet and intimate relationship that I hungered for has been, and is being, restored.  I am learning to say with Paul that “I count all things to be loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord” so that I may “know Him and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of His sufferings (Phil. 3:8a and 10a). This is my story. It can be your story.

Cheryl is a homeschooling mother of four who loves having a “front row” seat in watching The Lord transform women’s lives. Trained as a nurse, Cheryl is now pursuing a Doctorate in Biblical Counseling at Southwestern Seminary. She also serves at Southwestern’s Baptist Marriage and Family Counseling Center. You can contact Cheryl at cbell@swbts.edu and find more information about Southwestern’s Counseling Center at http://www.swbts.edu/counselingcenter.

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