Guarding Your Heart

Thursday, April 25, 2013 by Amanda Walker

Amanda, how do I guard my heart in a world that wants to rip me apart? This is the question that has been asked of me several times this month. A few weeks ago my husband and I began the Every Man’s/Woman’s Battle with our college group. This study has prompted many late-night conversations, and I have been able to see, first hand, the pain that these women are going through. At first I thought it was only a “single gal’s” struggle, but the more I have pondered this question, the more I realize that
it affects women in all stages of life. There is a battle going on in Christian women, and it is the battle for the heart’s affections. We are bombarded with television, social media, text messages, and not to mention the visual sights of just driving down the interstate. Even if we want to put filters around our
minds and hearts, the world does not make it easy for us. But, God has given us answers in His Word to help us as we seek to be women of integrity.

Proverbs 4 is a chapter dedicated to a father giving his son wise instructions. Towards the end of that chapter, Solomon writes, “Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life.” (Prov 4:23) The NIV says, “Above all else, guard your heart…” (emphasis added) Now that I am a mother, I can envision me telling my daughters this very command. “Makaylan and Hannah, above all else, whatever you do, please guard your heart!” I will admit that conceptually understanding this verse is much easier to accomplish than actually allowing this truth to be a reality in your life. In order to guard your heart, there are certain steps that we must take, and they are not always easy.

First, we must set up a defense system.

Whenever a soldier goes into battle, he first has a battle plan. It would be naïve and foolish to go against the enemy without first knowing how you will fight and what weapons you will use to fight him. For a Christian woman, our defense system is God’s word. Proverbs 4:20-21 tells us to “be attentive” to God’s commands and to “keep them within your heart.” In talking to these young women, I have noticed that most of them do not know what God’s word says about their dating relationship, their choices in movies, their choices in clothing, and etc. In a sense, they are going into the battle unprepared. The only thing
that can protect our heart from the lies of the enemy is first knowing what God’s word says.  I often find myself asking the questions found in Philippians 4:8. Paul says, “whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.”

Is the relationship you are in a God-honoring relationship? If not, then get out of it. Is the movie, book, or website you are looking at pure? If not, then confess it as sin, stop looking at it, and ask someone to hold you accountable for your media choices. Are the clothes you’re wearing bringing honor and praise to God or to self? If you are dressing to gain attention for yourself and get that “next look” from a guy, then please let me encourage you to dress in a way that shows respect for yourself and your fellow brothers in Christ. Knowing God’s Word is the key to understanding our enemy, Satan, and knowing how to stand against him.

Secondly, we must stand our ground.

Once we have put up our defense system, then we must make sure to stand our ground against the attacks of the enemy. Proverbs 4:25 says, “Let your eyes look directly forward, and your gaze be straight
before you.” This picture is one of a person who is not easily moved. It is so easy for the world to grab our attention away from God and His plans for our life. It is much easier to guard our hearts when our hearts and minds are fixed on Christ, and we refuse to allow the world to intrude. One way that I have
found effective in standing my ground against the enemy is to enlist accountability partners and/or mentors to come alongside me. It is easier to stand when I know that someone is standing with me.

For example, as a young mother, I daily encounter situations that I do not understand or even know what to do. Right now, my daughter is at the beginning of the “Terrific Two” stage of being a toddler, and it is often difficult to see past the here-and-now. The enemy attacks my mind and causes me to question my parenting and disciplining skills, and I have to fight off the lie that I am a terrible mother. It is times like these where I am so grateful for older women who have gone through this season and encourage me to press through it. I am learning to guard my heart against this lie and keep my eyes fixed on Jesus (Heb 12:2). God has a plan for me (shaping me to look like Christ), and He has a plan for my precious daughter. (She is going to be a leader one day…I just know it!!)

Finally, we must persevere to the end.

Guarding our hearts is a continuous battle. During a battle, the one who perseveres is the one who wins. In talking with my college girls, they often want to know when they will not struggle with this issue. My response: The day you go to be with the Lord. Guarding your heart is not a younger gal’s issue or a wiser gal’s issue, it is a human issue. But it is a battle that can be won. Proverbs 4:26-27 says, “Ponder the path of your feet; then all your ways will be sure. Do not swerve to the right or to the left; turn your foot away from evil.”

The Christian walk is a walk that takes a lifetime. Right now, many of my college girls are struggling with guarding their hearts against the emotional pendulum that comes in dating relationships. But, soon their hearts will turn to other matters, and it will be just as important for them to guard their hearts during that season. Learning to not “swerve to the right or to the left” on issues, whether it is dating relationships, parenting, friendships, working environment, or entertainment choices, it is a lifelong and daily commitment that takes perseverance. We will persevere if we fill our minds with God’s word, enlist someone to stand with us through either an accountability relationship or a discipleship relationship, and then purposefully “turn [our] foot way from evil.” God is for us, and He will help us to persevere.

 

Guarding our hearts is something we do on purpose. We cannot fill our minds with worldly things and then be surprised when we fall into sin. Instead, we need to be so captivated with God that we do not desire anything or anyone else. My prayer for us is that we would be women of integrity who stand up to the enemy and take back our heart’s affections. God has some amazing plans for us if we keep our eyes completely fixed upon Him and refuse to allow the enemy to win the battle over our hearts (Jer 29:11-14).

 

Amanda Walker is in the Doctorate of Educational Ministries program at Southwestern. Her greatest joy is serving alongside her husband who is the University Minister at Cook Baptist Church in Ruston, Louisiana, and being the mother of two beautiful daughters. In her “free” time she enjoys a good chat over a cup of coffee. Connect with Amanda on Facebook!

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Lean In or Lean Out?

Thursday, March 28, 2013 by Amanda Walker

Not long ago, few people had heard of Sheryl Sandberg. In 2001, she took a job at a little known company, Google, which soon grew into one of the wealthiest companies in America. By the time she left, she was the vice president of global online sales and operations. In March 2008, she became the Chief Operating Officer (COO) of Facebook. In 2010, she gave what is now her infamous speech on TED Talk, which catapulted her into the limelight.[1]

And on March 11, 2013, Sandberg’s book Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead hit the shelves. In its first week of publication, the book sold 140,000 copies, and it had to go back for reprint eight different times.[2] Lean In has become a national bestseller in less than a month. Sandberg is fast in becoming a household name, and she desires to teach women how to “lean in” to their jobs in order to find success and ultimate fulfillment.

 

Lean In is based on three core values. The first value is to “sit at the table.” Sandberg encourages women to negotiate for themselves and not be afraid to interject ideas. She notes that women attribute success in their lives to hard work, luck, or the help of others; whereas men are more willing to say they are successful because of their own skills. She believes that women deserve and should be at the top in at least half of the companies in America, but that will not happen until women are willing to “sit at the table” with men and allow their voices to be heard. The second value is to “make your partner a real partner.” In families where both the husband and wife work, she says that women still do twice as much housework and spend three times more energy and time taking care of the children. What is her solution? She encourages young women to select a husband or a partner that is willing to sit at the kitchen table, stay at home, and change as many diapers as his wife/partner. She envisions a world where men are encouraged and not belittled for being stay-at-home fathers. The last value is for women “not to leave before you leave.” In her book, Sandberg notes when women decide they want to have children, they often turn down promotions and stop being aggressive in their professional lives. She encourages women to stay engaged and not lean back. She also encourages women to keep pushing up in their careers until they have children, and then they can decide what they want to do with their life.[3]

 

There has also been some backlash to Sandberg’s book in the midst of its success. Sandberg is accused of being an elitist billionaire, who can hire a nanny, a housekeeper, a chef, and a personal assistant to help her run her life. For the average woman whose husband makes a middle class income, nannies and personal chefs are not a reality. With the rising costs of childcare, some women are choosing to “lean out” and return back to the home. I found it fascinating that one career-oriented woman made the statement in a CBS interview that the feminist movement provided women with a choice, the choice to stay home.[4] Lisa Miller, author for the New York Magazine, has a new article out entitled “The Retro Wife.” In this article she follows a family where the wife is a self-proclaimed feminist but has chosen to turn in her stilettos for an apron in order raise their two young children. What is her reasoning? She believes that women are better suited for the task of mothering, and she did not want nor could they afford to put their children in an upscale daycare facility.[5] Fifty years removed from Betty Friedan’s Feminine Mystique, women can have a full-time job, a husband, and a family, yet some are realizing they are still not happy trying to have it all.

So with all this talk about “leaning in” and “leaning out,” what is the Christian woman to think?

Every woman struggles with finding and maintaining a balanced life. I have a wonderful husband, two little girls (23 months and 9 months), and I am in the final stages of my doctorate work. I understand the struggle of wanting to complete a task, whether it is a dissertation or a career, and raise a family. But, in all my reading and research of this new “feminist manifesto,” I was struck with one reality. When a woman is blessed with a child, someone must care for, feed, nurture, and raise the child to become a responsible person in society.  As followers of Christ, we are given the responsibility to raise our children to know and serve the Lord (Deut 6:4-9).  In a word, someone must still fill the role of mother. Who is better equipped to serve, nurture, and train our children than us?

Titus 2:3-5 commands older women to “train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.” We live in a society where feminism is no longer a movement but a norm. Women still feel the pressure to work outside the home for a more fulfilling life, yet women are increasingly stressed, pulled in different directions, and live under a mountain of guilt.

Could it be that, as a society, we have removed ourselves from God’s perfect plan? God knows how difficult it is to raise a family and have a successful career. His desire is to protect us and our children from the stress that life brings. He is the One who fashioned us in His perfect image, and His desire is that we, as women, would trust Him to care for our needs and for our family’s needs. I realize that there are unusual circumstances that cause some women to work either part-time or full-time, and I empathize with those women. But, there are increasingly more women who choose to forgo the needs of their children in order to live in a nicer home, drive a nicer vehicle, or go on nicer vacations. To that woman, may I lovingly ask you, is it worth it? Is “leaning in” to your career more important than nurturing that precious child God has given you? Is “leaning in” to your career going to help you give your child an understanding of God’s word and His plan for her life? More importantly, is “leaning in” going to cause God’s word to be reviled (literal meaning is blasphemed) in your life?  Every child needs a mother, and God has designed you to be the mother in your child’s life.

I am often asked what I plan to do after I graduate. Many wait for me say that I will finally do some incredible thing that only a doctorate degree will allow. But, to be honest with you, I plan to continue doing what I have the privilege of doing every day, serving alongside my husband and being “mommy” to my beautiful little girls. For me, “leaning in” is not a chance to gain more freedom and success, and “leaning out” is not a choice I get to make. My desire is to lean in to Christ and live for His glory.

 

Amanda Walker is in the Doctorate of Educational Ministries program at Southwestern. Her greatest joy is serving alongside her husband who is the University Minister at Cook Baptist Church in Ruston, Louisiana, and being the mother of two beautiful daughters. In her “free” time she enjoys a good chat over a cup of coffee. Connect with Amanda on Facebook!

 

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Are You Plugged Into the Power Source?

Thursday, February 28, 2013 by Amanda Walker

Earlier this week, my husband was ordained into ministry. He has been in ministry for several years, but he had not been officially ordained. It was such a blessing for me to sit and listen to him share his love for Christ, his passion for lost people, and his desire to help teach and train the next generation. Chris and I have had several conversations about these very things, but there is something special about watching the man that God has given you share his heart with the people he has been called to minister to day in and day out. As in most ordination services, there was a pastor friend and mentor who stood up and gave a charge to him. Out of all the things he could have said, he chose to focus on one element: remain connected to the Power Source, the Holy Spirit. As I sat and listened to him give the personal charge to Chris, I could not help but think that in those words held the key to being an effective minister and communicator of the gospel.

Paul spent three years teaching and discipling these believers in Ephesus to maturity in Christ (Acts 20:31). Listen to the words that Paul prayed over this church: “For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named, that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith—that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.” (Eph. 3:14-19)

What they needed to be effective then, is exactly what we need to be effective now.

If we are going to be effective in our ministries, we must pray for the Spirit’s power to be released in our lives.

In verse 14, Paul prays that they would be “strengthened with power through His (Jesus) Spirit.” If you belong to Christ, you had the Holy Spirit from the moment of your salvation (Rom. 8:1-17). You will never receive any more of the Spirit than you did at your new birth – God gives the Spirit without measure (Jn 3:34)! But so many of us fail to operate day in and day out in the power of the Holy Spirit. It is so easy to rely on our training, our faithful upbringing, and our charismatic personality instead of daily (sometimes moment by moment) getting on our faces before God and begging Him to show His power in our lives. I have been in ministry for almost 12 years, and after a while it gets easy to teach a Bible study without adequate preparation, counsel a teenager or struggling mother without spiritually preparing for the encounter, or use my seminary-trained mind and vocabulary to “WOW” someone without truly relying the Spirit’s power. God convicted my heart and brought me back to the central focus of my ministry: I must rely on and operate out of the Spirit’s power in order to have a ministry that is pleasing to God.

If we are going to be effective in our ministries, we must be “rooted and grounded in love” through the power of the Holy Spirit.

There is nothing more challenging than to love people who do not show you love and respect in return. Scripture teaches that we are to be patient, kind, forgiving, and loving towards one another (1 Cor 13). I remember the excitement I felt when, after graduating from seminary, God allowed me to serve as a girl’s minister in a local church. I loved the ministry He had called me to with the girls, but I was not prepared for all of the demands and bickering I experienced with the parents! There was one instance in which a parent came into a restaurant and loudly demanded to speak to me. She proceeded to lecture and embarrass me in front of the entire restaurant. I had taken a “Relationships in the Ministry” class, but nothing in that class prepared me for this encounter! In that moment I had a choice to make: I could respond in anger or respond in love. God always allows difficult situations in our lives, which can reveal where we are spiritually. In moments like these, we do not have time to get spiritually “ready” to exhibit love; we must daily allow the Spirit to fill us with the love of Christ in order to show His love to a dying, lost, and hurting world. When you are attacked by a parent, a co-worker, a church member, or a denominational leader, you and I must be ready to respond with the love of Christ instead of anger.

If we are going to be effective in our ministries, we must be “filled with all the fullness of God.”

No amount of seminary training or corporate Bible study will give you the fullness of God in Christ Jesus! We must daily be on our knees before God begging Him to fill us and equip us to do the work He has called us to do. Paul is a great example of this. He had been trained under the best scholars and was considered one of the most influential scholars of his day. According to the religious leaders, he had a very bright future ahead of him. Still, he did not know or operate under the Spirit’s authority and power. But all of that changed when he met Jesus on the road to Damascus (Acts 9). After his encounter with Jesus, you see a man, full of the Holy Spirit, become one of the first missionaries, who took the gospel of Christ to the known world. He did more for the kingdom of God and had more of a lasting impact on the world after his conversion than he would have if he stayed a “religious leader.” I so desperately want to be more than just a “religious leader” who taught and influenced women. I want to be known as someone who displays the love, power, and fullness of God because I daily relied on the Spirit’s power.

Each of us has a different ministry God has asked us to fulfill. Some of us have full-time ministry positions in the local church. Some of us have full-time ministries in the workplace. And some of us have full-time ministries in our homes raising small children. Whatever your ministry, I want us to ask ourselves: Am I operating through the power of the Holy Spirit, or am I relying on something or someone else as my power source? My prayer for all of us is that we would realize the amazing power we have been given through the Holy Spirit and then turn to Him daily, asking Him to fill us and equip us in order to effectively do the ministry He has entrusted to us.

 

Amanda Walker is in the Doctorate of Educational Ministries program at Southwestern. Her greatest joy is serving alongside her husband who is the University Minister at Cook Baptist Church in Ruston, Louisiana, and being the mother of two beautiful daughters. In her “free” time she enjoys a good chat over a cup of coffee. Connect with Amanda on Facebook!

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Are You Having a Spiritual Temper Tantrum?

Thursday, January 24, 2013 by Amanda Walker

Temper tantrums! If you are a mother of small children or had dealings with small children, then you know this scene well. Everything is going smoothly, and your child is happy until you tell your precious child, “NO!” All of a sudden the child melts down into a fit, kicking, screaming, and demanding that you allow her to do whatever it is she wants to do. As a mother of an almost two year old, temper tantrums are a daily occurrence in our house. Our sweet little girl all of a sudden turns into someone you do not know, and you wonder what happened to your well-mannered child. Most of the time there is no reasoning with the child, and you have to take some sort of disciplinary action.

A few weeks ago I was dealing with one of Makaylan’s tantrums when God spoke very candidly to my spirit. As adults, we like to think of ourselves as greater than a two year old, but many times we act just like them. We might not physically act out with kicking and screaming, but spiritually we close our hearts and resist God. We ask for something, and He says, “No” or “Wait.” And the temper tantrum begins. The Bible calls this a battle between the flesh and the Spirit. Romans 8:5-8 says, “For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit.  For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace. For the mind that is set on the flesh is hostile to God, for it does not submit to God’s law; indeed, it cannot. Those who are in the flesh cannot please God.”

So how can we, as daughters of God, begin to put our spiritual temper tantrums under His control?

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Will You Have a Faith Like Mary’s?

Tuesday, December 18, 2012 by Amanda Walker

Since becoming a mother, Christmas has taken on a new significance. Before giving birth to my precious girls, I did not think about what it must have been like for Mary to carry and then give birth to her Messiah.  What was going through the hearts and minds of this young couple as they realized their Savior was about to be born? Being 90 miles away from her mother, was Mary nervous or scared?[1] Who, besides Joseph, aided her in this most significant of nights?  Most importantly, what can we learn from this young mother and her response to this marvelous event?

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Moms: Don’t Make a “Blind Buy”

Tuesday, November 27, 2012 by Amanda Walker

“Black Friday” and “Cyber Monday” are becoming household terms in the American culture. It seems like every year we are faced with new deals, better sales, and new gadgets that we just have to buy. Countless articles and blogs have been written on the commercialization of Christmas and the increasingly secularization of Jesus’ birth. But, today I want to address a different problem that I see with American consumerism…blind consumerism.

I define blind consumerism as buying products (movies, toys, video games, etc) without first researching and considering their content.

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The Unspoken Hurt of Miscarriage

Thursday, October 25, 2012 by Amanda Walker

A few months ago I got a phone call from a dear friend. I knew that she and her husband were excited about starting a family, and she was praying God would grant her the request. It had been a couple of months since we had last spoken, and I was anxious and excited to answer her call. I just “knew” she had some great news to share! After a few minutes of small talk, she finally said: “Well, I have some news for you.” (At this point, I am just screaming inside with anticipation!) “My husband and I found out about six weeks ago that we were pregnant, but we lost the baby a couple of days later.” My excitement over this long awaited news quickly shifted to comfort and compassion.

If you have been in women’s ministry long, then you have probably encountered this difficult and painful conversation. Earlier this month, a lady wrote to Biblical Woman’s “Dear Dottie” and shared the painful journey of going through a miscarriage. Mrs. Patterson shared from her own experience and counseled this woman and others on how to begin finding healing and restoration after losing a child. If you are reading this article and you have gone through this painful experience, I want to encourage you to read Mrs. Patterson’s response from one who has walked this journey. For those of you who have not walked in these women’s shoes, I would like to give some practical, yet biblical, guidance on how to minister to a sister, friend, co-worker, or stranger who entrusts this often unspoken hurt to you.

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